My spouse and I have consistently negotiated the minimum number of times I climax over a twelve-month period. That figure has steadily dropped, allowing me to acclimate to very few climaxes and learn how to share my wife’s enjoyment. Actually, I am more hooked on the buildup than the release itself. Although I plead for an orgasm during passionate moments, I often genuinely prefer not to have one at other times.
The reason we negotiate these yearly minima is that whenever I suggest letting her decide entirely when I climax, she insists I wouldn’t want total freedom because it would likely result in none at all. For reasons documented previously, my wife practically doesn’t need my penis; the main pleasure she derives from me during sex comes from hearing my moans of sexual frustration.
Outside our bedroom, we don’t operate under a FLR or D/s dynamic. My wife has observed that I no longer pester her for an orgasm because I’ve realized I don’t feel the need anymore; I prefer remaining in a constant state of arousal. Yesterday she read an article suggesting that while not all men desire it, many who want chastity actually seek permanent denial without harm, and wives often enjoy sex more when their partners display this sexual frustration. I know my wife has been having her best climaxes of the last two years up until I am allowed to cum, after which she dreads the following month just as much as I do.
It is one thing to give your KH full control while knowing you will receive a set number of orgasms yearly, and quite another experience when it might be ages or even forever before release. The key for my wife is maintaining hope in me that an orgasm is possible while continuing the denial. She has agreed only to allow me to climax if she senses I am suffering mentally or physically. She also mentioned considering special occasion releases but without guarantees. I know she prefers not to give them, repeating this stance often. After I do cum, she stays away for about a week because I become grumpy and melancholic. On the other hand, it is said that serial killers keep their captives from escaping by offering just enough hope of survival. Reading that was chilling but logical. We can endure hard times with even small amounts of hope, much like religion offers to many. It will be fascinating to see how she handles this.
Has anyone actually gone a year or more without fully climaxing? If so, what does it feel like as time passes? Currently, I still get horny but don’t crave the release itself, just sex. Will I eventually lose interest in sex entirely? That would mean true celibacy, which isn’t what I seek. The real question is how to remain in a state of anticipation without actually receiving an orgasm. My guess is she might tell me at year’s end that I can have one, then find another excuse to delay it for months or even until next year. Knowing her, she might indeed give me one as a form of punishment rather than reward. Perhaps not knowing exactly when is what I crave most; it should be entertaining.