I’ve likely been into edging since the start, even before I knew what it was. My first real denial fetish kicked in when I watched my earliest porn films back in the ’80s. The man would be going at it while the woman clearly enjoyed herself, and then he’d pull out to climax—cueing a cumshot or facial—and that marked the end of sex. Somehow, I felt this dynamic with reversed roles sounded amazing. Years later, now married, my wife didn’t enjoy sex as much after her own orgasm; she’d get sore, forcing me into double speed just to reach mine. One day, we discussed how much I liked reversing those porn roles. She was on board too, so we tried it and stuck with that pattern for years afterward: the thrill of being close yet knowing she’d come first, followed by her orgasm, after which she’d slowly slide me out. Often, I’d masturbate or just edge since my wife dislikes semen messes. Later still, I discovered Tantra and the concept of sharing a woman’s orgasm. It dawned on me that for many years, with myself not climaxing, I had been focusing on her pleasure as our shared goal, finding my erection behaving almost like an internal release too. In fact, I’d already been doing some Tantric/Karezza practices all along without realizing it. That became our primary focus, stretching out the time between my orgasms more and more until… that journey eventually led us to chastity play.
The moral? Avoid ’80s porn.