cejay67 Me at Last!

After my initial post, I feel it is time to explain how we and I arrived at this point. L and I have shared nearly seven years together. Before our meeting, I was single for a few happy years. My past involved dating after recovering from a traumatic relationship that swung between deep despair and high highs. Meeting someone like L felt like a blessing. In those intervening years, I examined myself closely to understand what I truly enjoy. For many years, I have known I am kinky by most standards, but it was fleeting—not something I craved or desired constantly. When we met, having been burned before by being open about my preferences, I metaphorically closed the cabinet and stored my kinks away. It stayed that way for about four years. During this time, we moved states, sold our houses, and built a dream home in a beautiful part of Australia. Yet neither of us was content. My interest and desire for sex had completely faded. L would constantly ask about it and was quite unhappy. I knew the issue was that my little box, where I had hidden all my kinks, was cracking and desperately needing to be opened. The last time I tried this approach, I ended up humiliated, so there was no way I was going to talk about my feelings. We continued on, drifting apart both physically and mentally. Knowing I would lose this beautiful, caring woman if I didn’t speak up, I did some research and pondered my issues on another forum after doing some reading. The overwhelming response was that I needed to communicate. So, one Saturday a few weeks ago, I started a casual conversation in the bedroom about my mass of pubic hair! It seemed like a good starting point for no particular reason. We talked, then talked more. I began discussing how we could spice up our life regarding sex. L listened intently, and eventually, I opened up further. I explained that I liked a bit of tie and tease, some spanking, and domination. She said she was fine with that and enjoyed it too. Suddenly, we were both competing to see who could be the sub! I had to clarify that no, I REALLY liked being in that position and actually didn’t feel comfortable as the top at all. This surprised L because she had assumed this is what I preferred. I then moved on to tease and denial and how I read about and fantasized about me denied release. By now we were both hot, so we went out for our usual Saturday night meal (we live in a lovely beachside village with great restaurants, and we dislike cooking on Saturdays)! The meal was wonderful, partly because L sat opposite me talking quite dirty. When we returned home, we had amazing sex, and I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders. I was finally free after all these years. Since then, we have been exploring, and there is more to tell.