Journals and blogs discussion

Day 5 - The Start. Kind of. Hello? Is this working? Good. Alright. Let’s begin… my name is, well, I won’t reveal it just yet; I prefer to stay anonymous for now. If you were sent here, you likely already understand the purpose of this blog. But for clarity—and for those who stumbled in by accident—it concerns my journey into chastity. The title might have given a hint that my reasons for this period are slightly different from standard cases. I recently ended things with one of my partners (I practice polyamory, more on that later), and consequently, my situation shifted rapidly from living comfortably in a nice three-bedroom house in the country with two kittens and planning our future, to squatting in a friend’s city apartment spare room, unsure even about lunch today, let alone life direction. Without getting bogged down in every detail, splitting with that partner wasn’t pretty. She was unique among my partners as the first I cohabited with for such a long-term plan. This combination meant the breakup hit me harder than usual. Speaking from experience with depression, I risked falling into a downward spiral without a happy resolution. Side note: I adore puns and am quite skilled at them, so expect plenty of chastity-related wordplay throughout this blog. The end of that previous paragraph is one example. Warning though, some are subtly hidden in the cage work. So, I’ve lost a woman I love and can’t see the forest for the trees. What’s the logical move? Chastity, obviously. Before explaining why, let me give a brief history lesson. I am a switch, always have been, even before fully understanding kink or sex. In my early days exploring alternative lifestyles, rope bondage and orgasm control were my two main interests. Although I didn’t fully appreciate it until later, I view chastity as the ultimate extension of orgasm control. Initially, my interest in chastity was purely from a Dominant perspective. The idea of controlling a woman’s orgasms not just during scenes or evenings but long-term was very appealing. Fortunately, I could experiment with this control over various past and present partners. One day, while sorting through my then-partner’s kink collection to choose something for that evening, I found her chastity cage. She is also a switch, so discovering the cage made me consider reversing roles and experiencing what I had generously (if perhaps cruelly) given to my willing subjects. Thoughts became curiosity, curiosity turned into desire, and then we tried having her in charge of my penis. Unfortunately, that relationship ended shortly after, but my wish to experience receiving chastity remained. So I bought myself a cage (well, three different ones actually), and with no other partners available or willing to take control, began denying myself. Five years later, these chaste exploits still feel incomplete. I’ve had several sessions here and there—perhaps six—but life always seems to interrupt the transition from interest to lifestyle. I don’t even know if I want it to become a permanent lifestyle, and I’m aware that my decision-making skills during this emotional, somewhat non-romantic breakup are sub-par. However, I am now in a position to start another session, with a new twist. You see, while the traditional approach to breakups is finding one or more meaningless partners for casual encounters, my method is the opposite. I want to use chastity as my rebound. I want its challenges and trials (and for those who haven’t tried it, it truly tests you) to distract me from what just happened and force focus on the present. Here we are. As of writing this post, 4 days, 21 hours, and 32 minutes have passed since my last orgasm. I arrived a bit late to start this blog because it took me this long to convince myself that people would actually read any of this. Again with the currently unstable emotions. I am far from my record of 27 days, 3 hours, and 3 minutes. To beat this record, I’ve set the timer for 31 days. This figure will change, however, as there are factors influencing the session’s duration, which I’ll explore in my next post. Here goes nothing.