Hello everyone, I live in chastity because of my addiction to porn and masturbation. When my girlfriend isn’t around, I masturbate three or four times a week. There was even an occasion where I masturbated and came in the shower while she stayed over.
Problem: The main reason I watch so much porn is that we haven’t been having PIV sex since last November (as far as I recall). Naturally, my libido is higher than hers, and I crave sexual relief constantly. She often feels exhausted after work and loses her mood for intimacy. Whenever I mention our lack of sex, she usually puts it off or says “tomorrow.” So, to get some pleasure, I spend time watching porn for a quick orgasm.
Background: My first cage was a China-made cb6000s, followed by a Holytrainer V2 made in China. Interestingly, I introduced chastity into our relationship last year after watching several BDSM porn and ruined orgasm videos. Curious about the feeling of a ruined orgasm and what it’s like being locked up, I gave it a try. At first, it was vanilla and fun to see how long I could stay locked. She found the fetish interesting since she had never heard much about chastity before. We weren’t too serious back then and eventually stopped wearing our cage.
Our relationship: We have been dating for 3.5 years, and just a few days ago on July 1st, we celebrated our third anniversary as a couple. I planned to take her out for fancy dinner and a romantic night like usual, but my mind was wandering beyond the meal. I kept thinking about us getting married in two years (I plan to propose next year), living together, and raising kids later on. I told myself this porn and masturbation habit must end now or never. For a moment, I felt I had been disrespecting her because once I have my orgasm, my desire for sex with her drops. Also, I noticed that the days following were lazy and tiring, which really hurt my gym routine that I’m trying to stick to.
Another reason I stopped using a chastity cage before was due to discomfort and odor, even after rinsing it out in the shower. So I looked around and found a new design with small holes for ventilation and drying water inside.
The plan: We had our anniversary dinner on July 5th, and I wanted to surprise her by having sex while caged. I started wearing the new cage from July 1st; as I write this, it has been one week of being locked up. It was a struggle to stay focused during that first week, but I kept reminding myself not to give up now.
Fast forward to our night together, my GF didn’t expect me to be caged at all. She actually wanted to call off or postpone the sex (which happens often and fuels my porn addiction). But I assured her it would be a quick session. She had no idea that I wasn’t having
My intention regarding PIV sex is to serve her and demonstrate that I am willing to be submissive so things can improve. I told her, “Let’s share this intimate moment first; I’ll explain everything afterward.”
I confessed my porn addiction and how frequently I’ve been masturbating. She wasn’t angry, more disappointed that I was disrespecting her. I quickly clarified that I didn’t plan to have sex tonight but would instead please her by fingering and licking her until she reached orgasm.
Her response surprised me: “Since you weren’t honest with me, I will punish you—tonight, you are not allowed to touch my pussy.” Her words turned me on a bit. However, I felt deeply relieved because I had been worried about her reaction; this time, I really want our chastity lifestyle to be serious.
She then teased me with her vibrator, and we concluded the intimacy while I dry-humped her for two minutes. I asked her to use a timer for my missionary position dry hump session: once the time was up, she could push me away if I didn’t stop. She got serious after those 2 mins said, “No, it’s over.” We cuddled for a while, and though I thought I might continue touching her breasts and kissing her, she firmly replied, “No means No; it’s done. You are going to be locked for another three months.”
Conclusion: After our intimate moment, I expressed that I want this chastity lifestyle to become serious on both our parts. To help rewire my brain and kill off the addiction, I felt bad about doing things behind her back and wanted to make it right. So let’s try this for two years, adapting the chastity lifestyle to fit our relationship and seeing how it goes. I also mentioned that while I want this to be permanent eventually, I first need to survive being caged for 3 months, then 6 months, and ultimately 1 year without sex. To achieve that stability, I cannot keep going in and out of the cage frequently. Therefore, I’ve decided to stay locked for 3 months, unlock for one night, then remain lock for another 6 months, eventually reaching a full year.
We also agreed that aside from family planning purposes as part of the punishment, I will never get the chance to cum—not even with ruined orgasm. She noted that my semen doesn’t really “come” out of my penis properly and expects nothing different in the future.
I told her she is now the keyholder; I am not allowed to consume any form of sexual excitement material or self-pleasure. I cannot cum or get unlocked without her permission (with the key kept on her necklace) at any time. I know that the chastity lifestyle changes many people, and I intend to slowly prove to her that I can change too.
As for PIV sex, we agreed to have it three times a year with no chance of orgasm: on my birthday in February, hers in May, and our anniversary night in July. At least until the 1-year mark, getting those 3 PIV encounters satisfies me quite well.
In time to come, I plan to propose a formal chastity vow or contract during our wedding night.