Question: When you are in chastity, do most of you feel a drastic shift—feeling indebted to your Keyholder and so on—not long after the lock is engaged? Or does it take some time for that urge to accumulate? I ask because many writings on EMC suggest something like “as the need for release builds up the man will do anything to please the woman” followed by “over time the man learns to associate the woman’s orgasm as a substitute for his own”. That may be true (I might be too new to fully grasp it), but it is NOT the driving factor behind my feelings!
There is obviously a thrill at hearing that lock click, but then just hours later an urge takes over to stay close to my GF. I want to touch her, cuddle her, smell her hair, breathe in her scent, service her—anything. This happens regardless of how much sex we had right before and without any domination play involved. Clearly, my compulsion to please her isn’t about getting sexual release for myself. Something else is going on that I don’t see discussed often in the literature. Perhaps it’s a huge spike in Oxytocin (the “cuddle” hormone), but if so, why?
And now that my GF has surpassed our “agreed” 7-8 day maximum lockup time—okay, the only formal rule was that she, as the KH, makes the rules—but she sure convinced me into believing these would be short-term locks (that’s a whole other thread!). By day 10, I feel like my cage is bending and I’ve become more self-centered than at day 2. Coincidentally, I gave her vibrator back last night. Afterward, I was in the cage all night unable to sleep until she texted this morning saying she had put it to good use and felt great. Suddenly, a wave of peace washed over me and I fell asleep instantly (overpowering any selfish “what about me” feelings). Why?
These certainly aren’t feelings driven by my own drive for release. It seems there is so much more at play here than the “traditional” explanations cited above. My GF agrees—somehow that little cage changes me completely and rapidly. It activates a side of me that just doesn’t exist otherwise. Everything after that is merely “volume and tone control”.
I have some theories, but first I’d like to hear if my experience is unique or common? Thanks!