Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

I want to share some details about my journey in chastity and how it has affected me, both then and now. How I truly NEEDED assistance…without fully realizing just how broken I had become! How the KINDNESS, GENEROSITY, PATIENCE and PURE PERSEVERANCE of an unknown Lady have brought this once fractured male dreamer to new heights…stretching limits and MAKING SURE I view things differently. FIRST OF ALL for any Ladies who might read this…”I AM TRULY, SINCERELY SORRY for being such a pig!” YES…I was one of those creepy men strolling through the store or driving down the road essentially stealing glances at attractive women walking by minding their own business or just heading to work. I was that guy mentally undressing each of you with my gaze, filled with wild thoughts that maybe even the smallest chance existed for any of you to speak to me! YET, it didn’t stop me from basically ravaging your peace with my eyes! I HATE using the word too, but needed to say it to explain what a mess I was. FIRST OFF, I would NEVER EVER EVER hurt a hair on any Lady…it just never happened. The truth is, if one of them…or any lady reading this ever looked me in the eye and called me out with an instruction, I would instantly follow orders. I am NOT a womanizer, just a bit of a perv I suppose. Hopefully the past (“ME”) is now clear to everyone. 10/31/2017…I start my Emlalock session, using my Steel HT 2 S, wanting a strict lock down so I set up the session to be VERY aggressive. Within a very short period of time…(the same day) I was hit with multiple votes and added many days from the Pillory. Before I knew it I was locked in for almost a year. Now totally overwhelmed and NOT wanting to quit, I did not know what to do. So, I reached out to a lady who once held me briefly back in 2016, Madame “E”. After she laughed at my mess of a situation, she asked for my key ID and another number she could use to take control over my session. Which she quickly did. She reduced some time but left quite a lot still on the clock. She told me she now owned me, that she was going to get fun out of it since she saved my ass. WHICH she did, PLUS its not like I could argue with her. Madame “E” is QUITE intelligent and very cunning! She slowly played along…using teasing phrases etc. Had me prove my devotion in various ways. Pictures taken in a way that wouldn’t advertise to the world…she now held them. Plus a TON of messages and emails where I begged her to take me deeper and make her hold on me stronger and Stronger and STRONGER! She kindly and gently played with me…(her toy) as I was then called. I could NOT beg enough…I COULD NOT get her to seize enough control over me! Before I knew what was happening she had ALL of my personal information! YES…ALL of it! I gave her SOOO much that she just casually collected and accepted what I offered. I wrote a slave agreement, making proclamations that even scared myself after sending the contract! I think you have the point now… THEN things kept moving along. One day into the next into the next…week by week passed. NOW, 16 months later…I am locked in a custom device of her choosing. She DID allow me some input…but being as submissive to her as I am…she could have had me locked in anything she wished! I even went so far as getting a PA piercing for the new cage. Then needed to go up two sizes for the cage to work…went back and got repierced to an 8 ga from what I believe was an 11 or 12 gauge. THAT WAS PAIN!!!! I almost passed out! UGH! ANYWAY…I ramble, I apologize. My point in this posting is…DEAREST MADAME “E”, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I am so much happier and SO MUCH better off now than the day you took control over me! Your limitations, rules and requirements have helped reshape my mind so that I now see women as a treasure! I view women as an absolute gift from God. A gift that I WILL BOW DOWN TO EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE if allowed! I have ALWAYS loved women…always seen them as THE SUPERIOR gender! I CANNOT give enough of myself to the ladies in and around me! I CRAVE and DESIRE to offer my self continuously without hesitation. I WOULD wear a chastity device for Madame “E” for the rest of my life IF she would allow it! SHE has made me a much better version of myself. I show FULL respect to women, I do NOT just look at their bodies…I look into their eyes and then quickly away. IF they welcome my gaze, I will smile then look down and away so as not to present myself aggressively. I am in sales…I sit with clients and potential customers every day. I CAN AND WILL FULLY ADMIT, when I sit down with a Lady I am MUCH more giving, much more attentive to what she wants and desires. I find myself bending over backwards so she can see that I am NOT the aggressive male…quite the opposite. BETA male is what people say would be a term for me! I CANNOT do enough for ladies…I CRAVE to help them, to do whatever they ask just in hopes that they will see I am a well behaved male. THANKS TO MADAME “E”! I am hoping for MANY MANY MANY years of servitude to her! I AM HOPING she will allow me to exist in her world for a long time to come. Of course…this is her decision and HERS ALONE!