Journals and blogs discussion

Well, my wife made it official last night: I am done having intercourse and orgasms. I have written on here several times about her vaginismus. However, what I have not written about is that during her last pregnancy she developed varicose veins in her vagina. Yes, of all the shitty places to get varicose veins, she had to get them in her vagina. The last time she allowed me out and let me have intercourse, she got pregnant again. The varicose veins have gotten even worse. It hurts her to even be aroused. Just the engorgement and extra blood flow during arousal is now painful for her. She still occasionally is able to get excited without pain, but not usually. We were discussing it last night and I asked her what she thought about our future with intercourse. She said we are definitely done with it. She never wants me doing that to her again. Because of my problems with masturbation, I have only been allowed to orgasm through intercourse. Stimulation by my own hands is strictly forbidden, and she never stimulates me by her own hands to the point of orgasm, just light touching and teasing because she doesn’t want me orgasming from hands like masturbation. She finds oral sex disgusting, so that is also out of the question. So, basically, my only route to orgasm is now gone. I am a little sad. I miss it pretty badly, and she made it clear that my days of doing that are over. She is the only one who will be orgasming from now on. And even that won’t be frequently, since most of the time it hurts her just to get aroused.