Introductions discussion

Greetings from Southern California. I’m Bob, and I’d like to introduce myself to everyone. My wife and I started a new journey where she leads about two and a half years ago. We’ve been married for thirty-nine years, which have mostly been enjoyable. However, once the kids left home and we became “empty nesters,” our marriage hit some rough patches. Specifically, control issues were a struggle for me. To cut to the chase, I asked her to take the lead during one lunch break. I shared with her my lifelong love of boundaries and rules; I told her that what drew me to her was her strength as a woman, both mentally and physically. I pointed out that our best photos together were the ones where she is standing tall while I am kneeling, and noted how many rooms in our house display these pictures. I explained that I wanted less friction and tension between us. I didn’t want my passive-aggressive tendencies to remain the norm anymore. I asked her to help me overcome my bad attitudes, snarky tone, and poor actions by stepping up as the leader of our marriage. I admitted that I am a closeted submissive. Fortunately, even though she wasn’t entirely clear on all the implications, she said yes. I wrote out a letter detailing what I wanted to improve in myself and what duties I wished to take on for her. This document eventually became our “bible” for this wife-focused marriage. It features bullet points under Love, Honor, Service, and Obey—areas where I have pledged to pay attention. I promised never to argue against her corrections regarding my attitude, voice, and behavior, and urged her to speak freely. I feel I’ve been doing well in not objecting to her thoughts or resisting her control. It seems she has gained trust in me and my word, and is growing more confident that she can lead. We review my progress weekly because communication matters so much. I go through all the promises in our “bible,” and we discuss both the good and bad aspects of my attitude, actions, and voice. Some weeks bring “bad” reviews which result in punishment—something I don’t always enjoy, as she can be quite firm. The review process is mutual; I also get to point out times when she could have tightened her leash on me or pushed me further. I make sure to tell her what I appreciate about her leadership and how it feels when she takes charge openly. It took some time for her to rediscover her voice within our relationship, but she has gradually accepted my submission to her authority. While I am certain she doesn’t fully grasp the extent of power she holds over me yet, she is exercising her will more frequently. She took control of my orgasms early on in this journey. Until recently, we relied on an honor system to curb my masturbation habit. We also practice domestic discipline. We’ve found that when she enforces it, both of us benefit. For me, it reinforces my submission and resets my goal to become a better submissive. For her, she says that disciplining me helps release much of the anxiety and frustration caused by my actions, attitude, or voice. A couple of weeks ago, she told me to buy a chastity device. I was surprised because she had previously mentioned this wasn’t something she ever intended to use. Last Sunday, I locked myself in my new Holy Trainer 3 for the first time. She left it on for eight hours. She often checked on how I was doing, and surprisingly enough, I handled it well. She tested my resolve by taking me shopping at several stores and initiating oral sex with her. There is only one “first time locked” experience, and I was very pleased with the result. She texted me today saying she plans to lock me when she returns from work for a longer period—likely overnight—which should be another first! Thank you for creating this interesting community. I look forward to getting better acquainted with everyone here. And I am excited to read about your experiences and learn from those who have lived in this chaste lifestyle.