Hi, I started Chastity more than a year ago to curb a Porn Masturbation addiction; I want to infrequently share what I discovered and report on the great, good, and the bad. I introduced it to my wife as a means to get out of my grumpiness and sometimes aggressive behaviour towards her. It helped a lot. It was an interesting journey that went through many different stages. The past stage was the best. It seemed I was healed from the Addiction; I discovered that I shouldn’t look at porn any more and all will be good. I actually thought there is a possibility I don’t need a cage anymore. I decided to do a vasectomy so my wife no longer needs to take hormones that are harmful for her, and after the operation I was uncaged for 24 days and didn’t touch myself other than for cleaning. Before I would always find ways, be it the magic wand or a few minutes in the shower, mostly just edging; but since 85 days I was 100% good even though i was uncaged for 24 days. However yesterday it happened.:( I had too much wine - but that is not the excuse. I guess I just wanted to do it… Wanted to try it again. Even though I didn’t want to. Anyway that is the start of my new journal. I guess I will tell my wife. She will do what has to be done and hopefully punish me. I hope she will lock me up again. Until the vasectomy it was kind of a self locking which my wife seemed to like. She would ask me to be unlocked to play and I would relock after we were finished. I have learnt, I still don’t look at porn but it feels like I am an alcoholic and I was drunk again for the first time. I repeated twice already this morning, thankfully only edging - but yeah, once an addict always an addict:(
First i need to make a correction. I had forgotten that when my wife left on a business trip last week that I did lock up as temptation is biggest when she is not arround. (3 nights) first night she was back she had asked me to unlock for play and i didn't relock after that. I had the key like always but i was really good. After writing my story above I did it again. I know how stupid am I? And I even allowed a full orgasm. So at night when watching TV and my wife teased me she mentioned that I had been grumpy and she asked me why I am reacting differently to her touches then normally. I had already arranged for a dinner date with her on Wednesday evening and I told her that i wanted to discuss it with her then but am happy to come out if she wants to know it all now. She did and I told her. She was not happy. I told her I hadn't watchted porn which probably helped a bit. She asked me: "Why haven't you been wearing the device" and I told her: "Because you didn't asked me to". So she said, "Well tonight you will put it on". So I am locked again and it feels better. This way I know I can be good. She also asked me to choose a punishment and tell her on Wedensday. I guess it will be 30 hits with the wooden brush:eek:.
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