“Good” habits slipped for my wife and me last week…she’s been under the weather and stressed about her job. I found myself criticizing her last night, a first in two months. Today I sent her two notes. One was just an apology, letting her know I love her and didn’t want to think we’d lost ground. The other explained something new to me: when guilt hits because I feel like I’ve treated her unfairly, it makes me feel most submissive, craving punishment…specifically for her to lay down a rule that makes me pause next time. When I picture this happening, I see stress and guilt melting away. Part of my setup here is avoiding “pushing” or demanding expectations…so I let it go. She likely won’t ask for specifics or act on it…it’s just how she is. Still, it’s a pattern I’ve spotted.
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