Hey there - I chimed in on a thread earlier, but this marks my first real post here… I’ve been married for nearly four years and collared by both my wife and Mistress for almost six. We found each other while looking for that power dynamic we wanted, and honestly, it’s the best time of my life—both happy and challenged. The BDSM community has played a big role in our growth, particularly over the last year or two. I also identify on the transgender spectrum; I prefer bi-gender because I feel like I can slide smoothly between genders, though I definitely feel most at home as a woman even with my male body!:) I’ll save the deep dive for an intro thread later (hurray!), but I have two specific questions right now. We’ve been experimenting with chastity devices off and on since 2007. She’s had full control over my orgasms since we started dating seriously, but we really wanted a physical way to show that authority… yet the cages never quite fit us both perfectly. We began with the CB-3000, but the rings dug in too much for anything beyond short sessions. I’ve lost weight since then, and for the past couple of years, I’ve been using the CB-6000S (yes, I’m a grower). Recently, we both felt inspired to step up our game and truly commit. After all, controlling my orgasms is one of the core pillars of our relationship. She’s had me locked for the last three weekends; each time, we extended the duration until I was wearing it continuously. Now I’m starting my first work week in a cage! Every time she unlocks me to check for redness or hot spots, etc., and after some trial and error with spacers and rings, I’ve found a setup that works well. There have been a few warm patches, but otherwise… so far so good. My questions are:
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Now that sizing is sorted, how long should I expect to stay locked before asking for a release just to check things out? Am I being too cautious about taking 2 or 3 days between removals for cleaning? Overall, I’m quite comfortable, except when the boys get cold in the middle of night and try to hike up past the ring—that hurts. But day-to-day is very pleasant, unless Mistress decides to be diabolical and makes me fight an erection…
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Is there a better option for long-term wear? I’ve seen Bon4 and Birdlocked mentioned as alternatives—should we wait until we’re ready for a custom steel cage? It’s hard to distinguish between reality and my mind trying to protect itself from being trapped in something unremovable. I have to believe I’m fine because if there were an issue, I’d feel it. But many here have walked this path before and can share their wisdom. Also worth mentioning: I make sure to apply lotion inside and outside the cage several times a day to minimize chafing. Am I checking out of pure caution, or is my mind just playing tricks? Thanks again, looking forward to your thoughts… Meghan