I considered 2019 to be the peak of my life, thinking it couldn’t possibly improve further. I secured an excellent job and finally went full-time, doing work I truly enjoy alongside colleagues who are pleasant to collaborate with. I found a wonderful girlfriend who is both brilliant and attractive. I also discovered a remarkable drug named Testosterone that has liberated my true self. My anxiety, stress, and emotional outbursts have decreased significantly; I am less prone to freaking out and acting neurotic. Beyond the muscle growth, one major advantage has been my rising sex drive! Consequently, I was quite sad when 2019 ended.
I knew I would meet Master on January 3rd. Wanting to start the new year correctly, I asked for permission to abstain from masturbation. Since I am usually very horned, needing one or even two orgasms a day, this is a challenge! He agreed, so I committed to three days. Having done short bursts before and being able to go months without ejaculation prior to testosterone (and having avoided penile penetration for about two years due to the anxiety, trauma, and occasional PTSD associated with PIV), I felt prepared.
On the night of my arrival, we engaged in intense play. He gave me more orgasms than I can recall him ever providing; I was shaken to my core. Master and I do not have penile intercourse sex; it has been a hard limit for him from the beginning due to his personal reasons. Since I also did not want it after having children, this has never been an issue in fact, fostering implicit trust between us.
After our play session, we conversed. The topic of chastity came up largely because I desire piercings. I want them so my vulva can be spread wide open or locked tightly shut. I also wish to have my nipples re-pierced for the same reason, providing Master with better anchors for his pleasure. We discussed our previous attempt at permanent chastity; I had overreacted due to insecurity and anxiety, nearly pulling away from him permanently because I was unprepared for the mental pressure while he was abroad for three weeks.
Understanding this, I practically begged Him for another opportunity, which He granted. This time, it is not just a few weeks but an entire MONTH! It operates entirely on the honor system. My directive is clear: no masturbation, no ejaculation, and no orgasms of any kind; nothing down there should provide pleasure. However, I have requested some relief. Because my penis (which I call a micro-penis since it functions more like a clit now) throbs and spasms uncomfortably, I need to tug on it occasionally.
He has permitted me to do this to relieve pressure. Two weeks passed, and I returned to His house for another play session. Previously, no one had denied or edged me unless they allowed an orgasm at the end. This time, Master was serious; I did not cum.
I thought I might sneak past Him by enduring a specific amount of pain that would allow relief through perception rather than actual release. However, He controlled everything tightly. He connected me to a TENS unit he designed specifically for this purpose. It features a suction tube for my clit and an internal electrode! My clit gets sucked in, becoming incredibly sensitive while the electricity flows. It feels like someone sucking on it—amazing! But not enough to fully release. Then He adjusts slightly, lowering the frequency so I feel rapid zaps rather than one smooth pull. To add to the challenge, the settings are random regarding both frequencies and intensities. The algorithm is designed specifically to maintain the edge without pushing me over. Just as I felt a powerful orgasm building within seconds, it abruptly ceased! I am not exaggerating; Master can be quite cunning, which is why I chose to dedicate myself to Him.
While He was doing this to my clit, He also ziptied my hands together in prayer position before me. My breasts were cinched in metal bands while He caned my nipples! It hurt terribly, so He distracted me by increasing the TENS unit’s intensity. Did I mention how much I love Master and His mind?
Finally, He climaxed… forcing me to lick his nipples as he cranked up the unit, shocking my clit so that all my pain transformed into energy for His pleasure while He giggled, cumming hard! I didn’t even get to taste Him.
No ejaculation. No orgasm. Just edging for His enjoyment and satisfaction—the way it should be, and how I always wanted it. The experience exceeded the fantasy; IT IS BETTER.
Here I am two days later, preparing to visit my sexy girlfriend’s house for dinner while cooking. We are on equal footing socially, but I tend to be more dominant and aggressive than she is. As secondary partners to each other, our primary relationships keep us busy, so we often see each other more frequently than we see those primaries.
After seeing Master, I was so wet that I had to purchase underwear for the first time in 20 years! Now at her house, wearing boxer briefs under my jeans. She knows about my restrictions and cannot believe I have lasted two weeks. As soon as I walk through the door, she brings me off; it is my standard greeting when we connect while I am under Her influence (which I think explains why she enjoys picking me up).
Afterward, we eat and then move to her room to continue our play. She touches me everywhere, bringing me off multiple times without causing an ejaculation or orgasm myself. I was surprised by the level of self-control required, especially since I promised Master not to do those things.
I allowed my girlfriend to touch below the belt but stopped frequently enough that she did not bring me over the edge. It felt incredibly hot! I never experienced sex like this before—without anxiety, nerves, distrust, or discomfort. Previously, these factors caused me to disengage, making intimacy feel more like a duty or even rape rather than something enjoyable. But now? Without cumming, I was in heaven! I loved every moment and still have no regrets three days later.
Yesterday, while discussing another fantasy of mine regarding being loaned out, Master stated he does not wish to lend me to anyone; he wants me as his beating heart!! I love possessiveness when executed correctly.
I see Master again on February 1st. It will mark the entire first month of the new decade and year since my arrival. When asked if I would cum that day, He said He needed to consider it. I am so glad I can control myself well enough to yield control to Him! I also questioned why I cannot simply have a device or piercings instead. His answer was best: they take too long, and more importantly, if I cannot control my desires naturally, how can I expect Him to do the same? If I cannot handle the emotional aspect, how can I expect Him?