For ages, I could unlock during family events or meetups with friends. But I didn’t want to feel horny and risk people noticing my cage.
We eventually found a gage that actually compressed what was in my pants, allowing me to wear it around the clock (I do take off just the cage part for peeing and washing). I started getting used to this daily routine.
Over time, chastity stopped triggering arousal as much; it became my new normal. This helped reduce my self-consciousness at public events or gatherings.
Later on, we took things more seriously: no piv sex and no erections allowed. When having sex with my wife, I wear a strap-on (we tried using the original parts for one attempt in 13 months before returning to the harness), and I remain locked throughout it all. Since my wife dislikes cum, I had learned decades ago that I don’t need an orgasm to enjoy intercourse.
Kink activities with my keyholder, which used to allow me to be unlocked, are now always locked (except for a few times a year when she wants to torment my parts—she is quite the sadist). No more erections in their presence either. This step terrified me. I’m over 50, have been with one woman for more than three decades, and another close friend of mine for about fifteen years. This was long-term commitment, and I had agreed to it!
That period was tough because my self-consciousness spiked around other men or friends who knew I no longer had conventional sex—or even the ability to have it with their own organs. I worried they could somehow sense it, or that some obvious shift in my manner would give me away. It took a long while for me to accept this reality.
My keyholder provided plenty of support as she guided me into becoming her kink partner and servant. We began with her disapproving of masturbation from the partnership side. Eventually, she grew to love controlling everything and seeing how strict chastity and denial changed me.
Each step was a leap of faith, managed by accepting the rules and learning to be less crazy-horny and kink-focused about it all. It’s the right cage for me, worn correctly. I’ve accepted emasculation as normal and learned not to feel lesser as a man despite lacking piv sex, boners, or releases.
What were/are your biggest hurdles? How did you overcome them?