I approach chastity through a Dominant/submissive BDSM lens, rather than the ‘high protocol’ style, where it serves as one of several punishments alongside things like caning. This setup involves a female Dominant and male submissive dynamic that requires permission-seeking among other elements.
Although I am naturally dominant, My Lady isn’t particularly eager to push this relationship style forward. Meanwhile, I really want to maintain 24/7 chastity and orgasm control, or something very close to it, ideally incorporating tease-and-denial practices because just staying locked up doesn’t feel fully satisfying over long periods.
I know this forum leans away from the BDSM spectrum, meaning most of you practice chastity without a traditional Dominant/submissive relationship in the BDSM sense.
So how do you manage being kept in by your female keyholder while not viewing her as your Dominant, and vice versa?
Surely, if I must perform tasks or demonstrate good behavior to earn release (whether physical or sexual), am I acting submissive while my partner acts dominant?
Reading the “Keyholder Handbook,” some aspects that I’d label as BDSM-style D/s appear integral to keyholding.
I’d love your perspectives, especially those that help My Lady and me understand how chastity/orgasm denial/tease-and-denial functions outside of a strict BDSM D/s framework.