Thoughts from an eager but restless husband

Oh boy. What to do when you discover you don’t share the same sexual fantasies as your wife? I have been feeling this longing to be dominated by her and she doesn’t see the fun in it. Are the things I want really so out of the ordinary? I guess watching porn for years and years skewed my view. I think I masturbated to every fetish known to man. I told her I wanted to be locked up in a chastity tube. To place the control over my penis in her hands instead of my own. As a serial masturbator it excites me endlessly to entertain the thought of being helpless and at the mercy of someone else for my release. I’ve never been honest to her about how often I masturbate. Out of shame, never could bring myself to tell her. Once or twice a day I pleasure myself. I masturbate to the wildest fantasies and don’t find too much fulfillment in our sex life. It is mainly missionary style and not all that much passion from her side. Or is it me, unable to give my all because I already shot my load twice that day. All I know is that the past two days I jerked but never allowed myself to cum. I felt more passion for my wife than I had in a long time. I felt the urge to please her, cuddle, kiss and worship more than before. I told her all this as an argument to try chastity but she hadn’t really picked up on it. Odd, it felt to me like it really showed in my actions. I guess I have to control to my urges to feel like this more often, just not sure if I can. Giving in is so easy, not masturbating so hard. Want to know the crazy part? I tried to make love to her after we spoke about chastity. I was horny, she was wet but tired. I humped her, she lay still. It felt so good, I wanted to cum so much but Hdidn’t. Didn’t want her having to get up to clean herself up, I would’ve felt bad about that. She was the perfect tease and probably didn’t even realize it. I felt frustrated and upset. She just fell asleep. So here I am, in bed, awake at 1am. The horniness subsided, made place for something else. What to do with my fantasy? Can I live a life without seeing this fulfilled? What choice do I have, I don’t want to be without her.