Novices and newbies discussion

I understand that the honor system isn’t entirely popular here, and many of us crave both confinement and denial. However, ball trap devices aren’t quite right for me (it seems I need a mid-size ring that is currently unavailable), and it will be some time before my partner would accept a custom device or full belt. So… How do you make it work? For solo play, staying honest feels tough. But with a ‘keyholder,’ surely they’d notice the difference in both your demeanor and your private parts if you let go privately;), which could lead to disappointment or maybe punishment, depending on what you prefer. To stir things up a bit: In some respects, is the honor system superior because the submissive has full availability at all times and must control himself for his owner, rather than just having the opportunity taken away? In other words, would you rather have no erections, or an erection within easy reach that requires constant resistance against momentary weakness to resolve it. Any thoughts are gratefully received… Thanks