Greetings everyone - I’ve been following this community intermittently for a good long while, picking up great advice and plenty of pleasure along the way (mostly by observing others’ tales and experiences rather than asking directly). My wife and I are relatively new to chastity but not strangers to kink. We’re celebrating nearly 23 years of marriage, and she is my absolute love! She tends toward vanilla in nature yet has embraced my quirks with remarkable grace. Bondage has always been a passion of mine, as have glossy fabrics; for over two decades now, she’s participated in both whenever possible. Despite some rocky patches and tears shed along the way, these elements have genuinely strengthened us, improving our communication and intimacy.
About two years ago, while browsing Tumblr, I stumbled upon male chastity! Wow - how had I missed this? I gathered my courage to tell her that I wanted to give it a go. She is accustomed to my more eccentric requests, so she doesn’t flee in terror; instead, she offers the predictable (and increasingly common) reaction of “why on earth would you want that?” Honestly… no idea, but it’s a massive turn-on for me and I’m keen to try.
Thus, I bought a Holy Trainer. For nearly two years, we used it essentially as an accessory during intimacy. Usually, I’d lock up, things would get heated, and she’d want the device removed almost immediately so we could have conventional intercourse. It was enjoyable, but I felt a growing desire for more. I told her I wanted to wear the HT more often and desired her to take charge. She gave a slight eye-roll and replied, “If that’s what you really want, go ahead.”
Last November, I started wearing it for extended periods over several weeks. Two things became clear: first, I adore being locked (though there are many nuances to master), and second, the Holy Trainer is simply too large. After doing some research, I settled on a smaller Chinese cage that proved much more comfortable and fit perfectly almost immediately (I’ve read about men struggling for months to find their perfect fit; lucky me!). By December 3rd, I was essentially locked around the clock. My wife adopted the role of Miss D, while I became her Cage Boy. She wears my key on a necklace every day (the actual key is just too bulky for daily wear). We text frequently, teasing each other and enjoying ourselves greatly.
Things went smoothly until Christmas—a few whiny moments from me to be sure—but overall quite pleasant. Then the momentum stalled. I became overly focused on it, while my wife felt pressured and overwhelmed. This wasn’t what either of us wanted. Although I still craved being caged, this particular setup just wasn’t working. So, using my emergency key (while she kept her own hidden away), I removed the cage one night.
It actually took a few days for my wife to notice it was gone; she felt slightly hurt and wondered why, though she had sensed the pressure and awkwardness too. We didn’t discuss it further and returned to our previous routine. Our marriage is strong, so nothing was truly wrong. I started wondering if chastity might not be for me after all, as I began enjoying freedom from the cage. However, I still want my wife controlling my orgasms; perhaps that’s the best path forward, especially since wearing a cage can feel somewhat cumbersome and intrusive.
Then, last Saturday morning, this happened! Miss D: “are you traveling this week for work?” Cage Boy: “no, I’m around all week.” Miss D: “good. I think you should be caged.” Cage Boy: “what?! Really?!” Miss D: “yes. I like you better caged.” Cage Boy: “really?” Miss D: “YES!”
So, here I am locked up again and… very happy to admit it. Something feels different this time around. We both seem more relaxed and confident in this ‘game,’ which I believe will evolve into a lifestyle. For me, the fact that Miss D specifically requested my lock-up is HUGE!
Fingers crossed things continue well…