Introductions discussion

Hello everyone! I’m brand new to chastity, BDSM, FemDom, and similar realms. I am eager to learn about my own sexuality and explore it further, hoping to make friends and perhaps find a support system or even a mentor. Let me share a little about myself… I’ve always been quite sexually liberated. I’m the kind of woman who answers a quirky sarcastic joke with pure honesty, or who gets into long talks about sex and its taboos. I don’t know why, but I seem to lack shame, or see no reason to hide sexuality in any form. I can embrace it all; even if something doesn’t personally turn me on, I’d never disrespect or judge someone for their preferences. To do otherwise feels low-class and childish. I’ve also noticed a love for sexually dominant men, but in relationships, I tire of them VERY quickly. I tend to push them around (not physically), becoming bossy and intolerant. I suspect this stems from my own denial regarding wanting a submissive partner. In relationships with dominant males, I feel conflicted: an urge to lead clashes with frustration at their dominance, causing me to rebel. So, I suppose I am trying to find my place in the dynamic, hoping to find a companion for it. So why am I here… Well, it started with a Craigslist ad. Someone was looking for a new owner for her current chastity pet, and naturally, I was curious. I wasn’t necessarily answering because I intended to take up on the offer immediately, but I was interested in the concept and wanted more info. BOY did that open floodgates! Before long, I was hunting down every forum, article, and e-book available. I read about cuckolding, chastity, FemDom practices, and more. So now, I want to take her up on her offer for her pet… But since it’s my first time, I feel somewhat intimidated. It feels like a huge responsibility, and I’m scared I won’t meet my sub’s needs, fail his expectations, or discover that this isn’t really for me. Or maybe I’ll find that I enjoy inflicting pain too much, which also scares me. I know I’ve left welts and scratches from biting and digging my nails into men before without quite knowing why… I hope to find a healthy reasoning and outlet for it. I don’t want to simply “hurt” the other person; earlier on, I did it with the idea that he would enjoy feeling how good what he was doing felt. I hope to channel this so both partner and I benefit mutually. I hope all of this makes sense. I will continue reading and exploring before diving into real-life interactions, of course… But they say you learn best by doing, so I hope for some help here as I prepare. I want to be a good mistress; I just need someone to show me how. Thanks!