Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

NOTE: I have been practicing chastity for the past six months without a physical device, avoiding touch entirely, and finding it quite pleasant. Our marriage faced significant turmoil three years ago but has since grown much stronger. … So here is my question, as this scenario seems distinct from many others discussed here. Although I hold a vivid fantasy of being a cuckold with a passionate wife who engages in swinging (even though she isn’t keen on it), I also desire to practice polyamory myself. She was raised in traditional Christian monogamy, where the woman serves her husband and raises the family while the man provides financially and may stray or maintain a ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ arrangement. In my own family, both of my parents had affairs with others; this is also part of our cultural background. Thus, these are the social and familial patterns we carry forward. The paradox lies in her nature: she likes to be dominant and in charge, yet deep down her conditioning makes her subservient, a fact that irritates her. While I am happy being submissive to her, I also want to enjoy sexual play with other people, which is something she strongly resists. How can we make this work? One possibility is for her to oversee the entire dynamic, allowing me only what makes her comfortable at any given time. I go along with it because I appreciate her control. She has mentioned that she is okay with my engaging in BDSM activities with others, provided they are not sexual. The tricky part is that excessive control frustrates me too much; I enjoy spending time with other people without strict restrictions. If I suppress myself too heavily, I might act out unhealthily or accumulate resentment over time. This could also be unfair to the other person who may develop feelings for me. I wonder if others are navigating similar frustrating situations. I have been researching Mono+Poly communities and it appears there are methods people use to bridge this gap. What suggestions or personal experiences do you share? Thank you.