Female led relationships discussion

It was a challenging but rewarding discussion today. I shared how I feel about committing to longer periods of lockup between my O-sessions, which creates the dynamic I know is right, even though it’s hard for me to fully accept. Lately, we have been adjusting the punishments, rewards, and entitlements I receive while in chastity. The aim is that this setup naturally encourages her female-led approach, stopping me from taking over or manipulating our relationship. During the talk, I admitted my fear of being denied sex if I truly submit, and how I worry no one will watch out for what I want when I do give up control. Even though there’s plenty of proof that My KH isn’t like that in reality, I still hold onto that psychological block. She made it quite clear that my need to keep hearing her say she wants chastity and kink is just irritating us both. We are living this lifestyle; we don’t have to discuss it constantly to prove she wants me locked up. It was the first time I really heard what she meant. She’s right—I am vulnerable and insecure about creating desire myself, and trusting that others want it from me. Wow. I realize now I can be annoying. Interestingly, many things she does are exactly those behaviors I had assumed were bothering her. But overall, the frequency and way she handles things is fun for her. I was actually completely off base regarding my value and my annoyance levels; in fact, I had them reversed. And that’s just being human… I’m not sure what happens next, but I needed to put this down… because tomorrow I might have it twisted around again.