Edging, denial and keyholding, written plainly. 18+

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Introductions discussion

member_71168b2802 · 2026-08-29T09:27:38.000Z · 0 replies

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member_71168b2802 Newcomer Thread starter
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2026-08-29T09:27:38.000Z #1

Hi all! I’m really looking forward to joining this great community soon. I wanted to write here to gather some extra info and hopefully useful tips. There are two main things on my mind.

First, the trickiest part: how should I introduce this concept to my sweet, very vanilla wife? I know she’ll resist at first, but from what I’ve seen online, it seems like a perfect fix for several issues in our marriage. The more I learn about this lifestyle, the more convinced I am that it’s the right answer. My issue is excessive masturbation; I waste every free moment away from her doing just that. If she stops me from wanking, so many other positive changes will happen for us. Also, my arousal during sex could improve—reading suggests her controlling me helps with this. She has huge trust issues after catching me masturbating years ago and hasn’t forgotten it; having her control the situation addresses both concerns about my secret wanking and potential cheating. Another bonus is that her own libido might get a boost—I can’t see any downsides there either. And finally, I’m thrilled at the prospect of her having total dominion over my sexual life.

This brings me to my next dilemma: while my size is average (or slightly above) when erect (for Australia), I am quite small flaccid. We experimented with a leather device years ago, but it was easy for me to slip out of it now that I’ve read up on modern options, there are devices designed so you can’t escape them easily. If she agrees, she’ll likely want me wearing one for long stretches (since I work away from home sometimes) potentially for a week at a time. I’m leaning toward the Birdlock Mini. I keep hearing people discuss ways to get out of these though; does anyone have advice on this? Also, I need something that fits under my work clothes and is sturdy enough for construction sites. The Birdlock seems best for concealment.

Any guidance would be much appreciated!

Best, Soonbound

P.S. Does anyone know any technical or non-BDSM/sexual references regarding the benefits of chastity? If I can show her scientific evidence, she’ll likely be more on board.

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