I haven’t been very active on these forums lately, but I used to go by the name Dominion here. If you recall me at all, you might remember some of my history, which is detailed in two posts located near the bottom of this thread.
To give a quick summary: I am married and enjoy various styles of BDSM and fetish play. However, historically, my wife hasn’t shown much interest in participating with me. Specifically, many things we discussed before marriage involved her saying she wasn’t keen on dominating me in those ways. So, after getting married, we continued doing some vanilla kink—like tying up or using clamps—but mostly I handled self-BDSM and fetish play on my own. The more I did it, the less we talked about it and the less we incorporated kinto our sex life until it became just standard intercourse.
I kept playing solo while collecting items that were a bit more intense than what she was accustomed to. I hid these things in a box for two years. Among my purchases were feminine wardrobe pieces, shoes, leather hoods and gags, large anal toys (since I love being stretched), etc. By this point, we had essentially swept our kinky habits under the rug.
Fast forward about a month ago: I got tired of keeping that box in the back of one of our closets because digging it out took forever before putting everything back exactly as found. So, I moved the box into the bedroom under my nightstand (we recently bought new tables for the nightstands and she decorated each with themed covers). I kept the box there for about three months until last month when she started deep cleaning and discovered it.
At first, she just left the box somewhat visible near the table but closed, so I pushed it back, hoping she hadn’t looked inside. Then two days later, before I went to class, she left a note: “I know what’s in the box; please talk to me. I’m not angry.” I spent the next three days gathering my thoughts on how to approach this.
Three days after that, when I came home from class, I opened the door and found her sitting on the living room couch wearing one of the custom corsets I had bought for her, along with garters and thigh-high stockings. Her hair was styled strictly, and she held a riding crop in hand. (Side note: regarding toys up to this point, we jointly owned various dildos, vibrators, a crop, homemade floggers, clamps, restraints, and collars.) She made me strip down and strapped a collar around my neck before leading me into the bedroom. She had me choose five items—two from our joint collection and three from my box. After I selected them, she beat me (starting softly and working up until my ass was very sore) and forced me to reveal five fantasies involving those chosen items.
Afterward, we had a long discussion about what comes next for us. We agreed that for our marriage to thrive, she needed to explore the more dominant side of things, while I agreed to take it slow on her learning curve as my domme. We decided to start with at least one session per week and increase frequency whenever both of us have time off on the same days (I work in EMS and she works nights as a baker, so our schedules collide quite often). Since that first time, we’ve had three sessions, each different from the last. We’re fighting less over trivial matters, and it feels like when we first met nearly six years ago.
Regarding 24/7 lifestyle: we decided it’s best not to focus on full-time commitment right now. Aside from that, I don’t desire a strict 24/7 lifestyle myself. My plan is for 24-hour periods and full weekends, perhaps even a week if manageable, but currently, I value other aspects of life just as much as pleasing her during those times.
Throughout all this, we’ve decided to chronicle our journey through a blog where she/I post our fantasies; mostly me. I am also required to write diary entries whenever I masturbate (which has been none since this began) and after every session, documenting the experience, how I felt, what worked, what didn’t, and what I’d like to see in the future. It’s already grown beyond my expectations, and I’ve been reveling in our newfound sexual freedom.
If you’re interested in following along, visit our site at the address below. It contains blog posts, articles from around the web, and links to various BDSM resources.
My Original Blog Thread the referenced community page My Story: Unabridged (:P) the referenced community page