Moved by my husband’s answer to someone else’s query on another site, I wanted to share his perspective on a fantastic life in chastity. It goes beyond the usual rhetoric concerning male chastity, D/s lifestyle, and FLR. Here is the question he answered along with his reply. It is loving and thought-provoking.
Original Post **“A question for submissive men in long term chastity” I have a query for those submissive guys who are in long-term chastity. What runs through your mind as the days, weeks, etc., of chastity go on? Is it just “darn it, I’ll do what she wants and eventually she will release me”—hopefully soon rather than later? Or do you tell yourself that sometimes I can be pretty selfish and really need to focus more on her needs? Does your mindset lean toward selfish desires or a true wish to be less self-centered? How long does it take for your attitude to shift?”
His response****** “It seems there are only two answers, but we might examine the motives rather than just the practical means. A heuristic view forms after such an extended time in chastity, yet the focus remains on our collective unit and not the individual person. It is our commitment to one another and our marriage, along with our lifestyle, that matters most. This manifests clearly in our relationship.
<<< Is it simply ‘darn it I’ll do as she wants and eventually she’ll release me’ hopefully soon rather than later? Or do you think to yourself that sometimes I am pretty selfish and really need to consider her needs more?>>> This is like asking if you prefer vanilla or chocolate ice cream. Neither, I love Rocky Road! Please, my goal isn’t to be condescending but to suggest a different paradigm.
We entered our agreement mutually, wanting to please each other above ourselves. We love one another deeply enough that both would give everything for the other. We see it as a gift we exchange. There is no animosity, envy, control issues, or power struggle—only gratitude. It isn’t merely a game.
At first, it was just a kinky, erotic, and fun way to manage my masturbation habit, and we both enjoyed the play and the sexual buildup. After many years—including one year of continuous chastity locked in a Lori’s #5—we found it extremely powerful and well-suited for us. Now with aging and practical issues, our love and appreciation for each other’s needs have only grown stronger.
So returning to your original question <<<What is the thought process that goes through your mind as the days, weeks, etc., of chastity continue?>>> This husband remains dedicated to his wonderful Wife/KH but stays just as horny. A calmness has replaced the frantic need for orgasm. It wasn’t easy, but I never felt any animosity or ill will toward her. Yes, I wanted passionate love with my Wife, but it was channeled into productive energy flowing through me. What an uplifting way to support and love Her. And we still enjoyed hot monkey sex while I remained locked in this continual high state. It has been mind-blowing. I am sure neither of us would have wanted it differently.""
I love that man. MsL