I’m having a bit of trouble keeping my thoughts in order. It’s taken me some time to truly grasp how my own body works. Many folks view female bodies and sexuality quite simplistically, as if the vagina is merely an opening. But I’ve noticed people do exactly that with men—treating the penis like just another stick. It seems most of us don’t really understand any body, whether male or female. That’s probably why circumcision doesn’t seem such a big deal to many.
Still, sexuality fits into life differently for everyone. All I can control is myself and those around me.
I’m fairly average in size: 180cm tall, just over 60kg, with a length of about 13-14cm but not particularly thick. So I’ve come to terms with that. However, I feel like I have a robust arousal cycle, powerful orgasms, and a responsive prostate. My body works hard producing lots of precum, and I never struggle to control my climax. This means lovemaking can easily last an hour or two.
That sounds pleasant enough initially. But if I were living with someone—which I want to do because I believe in committed relationships (and that unconditional love is real)—my natural instinct would be to have sex every day, maybe even twice a day. Even though it might feel excessive and encroach on my hobbies, work, and other life areas, because I’d want to give everything I have to her.
But there’s more. I’ve discovered that I can cum while nearly flaccid. My perineum is highly sensitive. Like many others, I find a combined anal and penis orgasm to be a wonderful experience. I can also have “head” orgasms: my face flushes, arousal peaks and plateaus before fading along with the erection despite no ejaculation. I feel that same petit mort urge to curl up and rest with a smile. An inexperienced person might mistake it for ED or something similar. But since many women happily report sexual episodes without an orgasm, obviously it’s not necessary for men to cum all the time either.
Forcing someone not to cum feels like making too much of a fuss. My choice not to cum shouldn’t be focused on so heavily; ultimately, it would just be roleplay. If you disallow someone from cumming but they really want to, they can simply leave and do it anyway.
So that’s my take on chastity. Some people fantasize about never cumming again, perhaps even being castrated or more. I won’t question if that suits them. But that isn’t what it means for me.
Here is my vision of the future—perhaps you could call it my goal or dream.
It’s not that I don’t want to ever cum; it’s that I only wish to do so when she wants it, allows it, and perhaps even when I deserve it. However else you phrase it: I just want to gently surrender. That is where chastity fits in. The devotion shown by a ring doesn’t compare to what a key represents. My priority is making someone else happy.
I don’t think being a strong sub depends on doing new, weird, or hardcore kinks. Though I have accepted that if I’m with someone serious and we love each other, it’s inevitable I’ll end up licking her butt.
I LOVE being hit and can’t quite explain why. It might relate to the depth of my emotions, or perhaps loneliness.
As for sissification/bisexuality: Well, I’ve had sex with men in the past, even if I’m not generally interested in men—if that makes sense. Sucking cock causes me to leak easily. Many women probably wouldn’t be okay with that just being history; they’d want confirmation themselves. So regarding forced bi, I feel happy serving other men as well as other women, at my master’s discretion. Although I confess uncertainty about where reality ends and fantasy begins here because I quite enjoy monogamy.
I see sissification having two aspects. One is that boys also desire to be pretty; girls’ clothes fit tightly and feel wonderful. Boys should wear makeup simply for the sake of it—every man on TV does, so I don’t get why we shouldn’t either. The other aspect is loving when a woman wants to share her femininity with me; it feels like such a compliment.
Hopefully one day I’ll have progress to report. In the meantime, it feels nice to truly let myself out—so to speak.