I apologize if this comes across as rambling. I’m sorry if my ideas jump around a bit. I have an incredibly difficult time focusing and organizing what I think.
I’ve been in lock for two weeks straight. I haven’t even removed it to shave or get cleaned up. My wife tells me that rinsing with water sprays and using q-tips in the shower is enough to keep things tidy.
This is my first extended stay locked away. For many of you, this duration would be a breeze, but for me it’s turning into emotional torture.
I’m starting to feel strong waves of loss and sadness. It feels like someone I love has died. My heart hurts and my mind is spinning wildly. All I can think about is how wonderful my wife’s pussy feels during sex. The dread and deep sorrow won’t go away. I wonder if this is a standard part of the “breaking in” phase?
I’m essentially a mental wreck at the moment. I am not clinically depressed - but I feel utterly sad and heartbroken. It feels like my best friend or my dog just passed on.:sad0002:
I’m no psychiatrist, but I’m decent at looking inward. I “think” I know what is happening…
I’m beginning to realize that she has finally taken charge and done exactly as I asked. She’s truly serious about keeping me locked up for a long while now. My brain is starting to grasp that I’m going to lose some of my “alpha male” status. I won’t be the one in control anymore. I won’t just bend her over and take it whenever I please. And my mind - my psyche’ - is coming to terms with this, causing intense feelings of loss. The loss of my “alpha” identity as the leader. I’ve been begging for sex for about four days now, and she simply says, “No, you don’t get to fuck me anymore. You can eat me or rub my feet, but you’re not fucking me ever again.”
Is this a normal part of the breaking in process? Or should we pause and analyze whether this is healthy?
I’m HOPING that these feelings of intense sadness and dread will fade away and eventually I’ll start to feel acceptance. - Acceptance - where I begin to understand she holds the control now.
Need some guidance. Does this happen to every man, or do we need to put on the brakes and evaluate our situation?