Journals and blogs discussion

I won’t dive into the history of my situation today; I just want to share what has been going on lately. Yesterday was Sunday, which is when my fiancee rolls the dice to determine my weekly fate. The first die indicates the category (1. Gentleman’s choice, 2. Stroking, 3. Anal, 4. Vibrator [she can use a vibrator on my cock], 5. Nothing, 6. Lady’s Choice). The second die tells me how long I have to wait and whether or not I am allowed to cum (1-3 means no cumming for play durations of 1 hour, 1 day, or 1 week; 4-6 allows cumming with the same duration options). For these posts, let’s call my fiancee Jane. Last week, Jane rolled a 2 and a 6, so I was allowed to stroke myself as much as I wanted throughout the entire week. This time around, she got a 2 and a 3 but wasn’t happy with it. We hadn’t talked about re-rolling, but since I want her to be in charge, she decided it was fine to roll again because she didn’t like the result: 5 and 4. So this week is Nothing for me, even though my previous result was a 4 (which usually allows cumming). I think I can handle that. I’ve had about ten orgasms over the last seven days, and before reaching this point in time, my longest streak without an orgasm was thirty-seven days—so seven days shouldn’t be too difficult. However, today I am incredibly horny. I found myself watching porn and reading captions for most of the morning. I AM allowed to milk myself once a week… usually saving that session for Wednesday because it falls right in the middle of the week and fits well. Today was day one. I started by trying to massage my prostate manually, something I’ve never had much luck with. Then I moved on to using my blue toy and straddled it while lying on top of the bed. It proved too hard to control that way, so I strapped the device to the bedpost and got down on all fours on the floor to ride it. And rode it. And kept riding it. I probably fucked myself for about thirty minutes but only managed to squeeze out four or five drops worth of release. It felt good, yet I didn’t get the relief I was hoping for. After getting up and cleaning myself… I am now dealing with a severe case of blue-balls. I haven’t had them this intensely since I was around seventeen or eighteen years old (I’m twenty-six now). So by trying to find some relief, I’ve essentially committed myself to a long, painful week ahead. The temptation to cheat is really strong… all I can do is hope that Jane finally agrees to get me fitted with a device.