sissy_maid_melody said: I know life seems dark, confusing and very difficult right now but this is a process that you have to go through before learn just how good the reality can be. Your description of your previous attempts at chastity are what I term the “fluffy chastity” syndrome. It’s where a sub says they want to be in chastity and give the keys over, but what they really want is a few days of tease and denial before playfully begging for a release and the domme granting one. This provides very little interest for a domme as it’s all about the needs and wants of the sub. However, the moment the domme tries to get what she wants out of the chastity, the sub runs away. My Mistress has seen dozens do this and it infuriates her - well it did until she charged for it. You may well say that you went in to this with your eyes open and expected that at times it would be tough, but you’re now wondering if the reality is more than you can handle. As for all those telling you how lucky you are and that they wish they could be in your position, 99% of them would have given up within a week. I, like many others on this site have been where you’re at. We thought we knew what the difficulties would be but we seriously under estimated them. No matter how much you thought at the start that it would be easy to give in to her will and control, indeed, no matter how much you wanted to do just that, a part of you is fighting to retain control. Becoming genuinely controlled and submissive to her is not an intellectual exercise, it is a fundamental psychological reprogramming that no one is prepared for. You will know when you truly accept things as they are and you will not believe how much better life will be. And you will thank her from the bottom of your heart without reservation for leading you through this.
Well another month has gone by since my last post and I have adjusted a bit better. She has remained true to her word and hasn’t let me out unsupervised since we started this go around. I did make the mistake of demanding to be let out at the end of March and I earned another month in chastity. There have been smaller infractions here and there and the new release date is end of July. It doesn’t really matter when it is though. She has told me to put it out of my mind because when the day comes, she will decide if she is going to let me out and if I ask it won’t be good. I have accepted that it is her decision and now I really just want to make her happy. She is much hornier now and so I get to pleasure her a lot which is very nice - almost indescribably so. She is very happy with my progress. She tells me that she is sure it must be difficult but I am doing a great job and she is proud of me. In my current state, that means a lot to me - again, hard to describe exactly what she means to me and how much her approval means at this point. She has started hinting that she misses normal sex. I know she wants to take a lover and I am still not there so I keep quiet. I feel very selfish though as I know how bad she wants it and it was my idea originally. Most of me wants her to be free to do so and be happy so I will probably agree before long. We’ll see.