Hello everyone,
I wasn’t sure if this should go in the introduction area or with the novices and newbies, since it fits both categories. Sorry if I posted in the wrong place; please feel free to move me if that’s the case.
I’ve been a quiet reader for years now, but my interest in chastity has grown over the last five plus years. It started back when I was younger, during my teens with some self-bondage, and gradually evolved into an appreciation for femdom dynamics. For a long time, I thought there might be something off about me and kept trying to avoid slipping back into that world without much success. Because of this fear of being seen as unusual, I stayed single through the end of my teens.
Fast forward to today: I’m 24 and have been with my girlfriend for over three and a half years. We live in different European countries, so our relationship has its own unique rhythm. As students, we only manage to see each other every month or two. Initially, she didn’t seem very keen on indulging this fantasy of mine because I realized later that I was being pushy and talking about it too much before giving her time to adjust or explore it herself. So, our first attempt didn’t quite work out.
I decided to take a slower approach instead. While she doesn’t particularly like being teased, she discovered she enjoys teasing me right up to the edge. On our third anniversary, for instance, she gave me a blowjob (which are usually reserved for birthdays or anniversaries since she isn’t huge on the taste of precum) and accidentally ruined my release. She loved it.
Now, we have a very loving relationship. I’m drawn to chastity because it helps me focus entirely on her needs. Even though we live more than 2000km apart, I feel guilty when I masturbate. Bringing this practice into our dynamic feels like the right move; I believe I’ve been neglecting my role in the sack a bit and see this as an opportunity to adore her more fully while curbing my own habits.
I’m not really attracted to the ‘hardcore’ side of things, such as ossification or cuckolding. While those fantasies are enjoyable, I prefer them to remain just that—fantasies rather than becoming our everyday reality.
So, I’ve told my girlfriend that from now on, I only want to achieve orgasm through intercourse with her—not masturbation, and not handjobs (and very rarely blowjobs). She has agreed to play along since I made it clear I wouldn’t be demanding or pushy. She can participate however she likes without obligation, except for the specific rule about not providing me a release via handjob. It seems a bit odd to her at first glance, but she sees it as devotion to us and our relationship.
We see each other roughly once a month. I tend to want sex on the night she arrives, whereas she usually prefers the second or third day (she stays for up to three days). I hope this timing helps put the ball in her court since I’ve promised not to initiate while wearing my device.
Apologies for the length; I wanted to provide enough context for clear answers:
- Are we too young for this? Am I wasting my prime sexual years by committing to it? Given our situation, I usually get sex monthly anyway. I’d hate for that frequency to drop significantly.
- On a personal level, avoiding blowjobs and sticking to condom-only intercourse has reinforced the denial aspect of this fantasy further. Are these two elements common in young relationships?
- She is visiting in June but will be on her period. Since she travels over the summer while I work, we won’t make love until September (it’s been since May). This means I’ll go four months without an orgasm. I don’t want to back out after convincing her just a week ago. Is that stretch too long for a first time? We are long-distance, so I’m not exposed to as much teasing as others here might be.
- I’ve already worn the belt for seven days—just took it off briefly for a quick wash and put it back on—and plan to keep it until the end of June. She has the combination to lock my key in a box: a) My erections seem less resistant against the cage over time. Do you eventually reach a point where they don’t even try? b) One of her main concerns is that I need to release cum at least once a week for prostate health. How do others handle this? Studies suggest men should ejaculate 21 times a month to reduce cancer risk, so she doesn’t want extremely long lockups with that in mind. c) Regarding the above, I’ve decided to use a vibrator on the cage until the point of no return during releases. This provides little pleasure but still some due to the constriction. I’m not ready for solo milking via prostate massage yet. Do you have other recommendations for minimizing pleasure? Perhaps using numbing cream before applying the vibrator? d) When I remove the device in September after about 15 weeks of no erections, how long until my erections return to normal strength and size? Will there be enough time within our three-day visit window if temporary shrinking occurs?
I didn’t expect to write so much on my first post. Any advice is welcome! Thanks.