Novices and newbies discussion

So, I wanted to share my journey so far and some of the challenges of being a key holder. My husband came to me a few months back and shared his desire for chastity. At first I was confused as to why he would want this, but with an open mind we discussed it further and read lots online about cages and the lifestyle. The more I read, the more intriguing it seemed to give it a go, so we ordered a CB6000s and couldn’t wait for delivery! The day we got it felt like Christmas morning! We put it on and then…I found myself wondering what next. My struggles are that I have always been the submissive person in relationships so denying my man was hard to wrap my head around. I deeply desire to please my husband, and somehow felt I had to reciprocate whenever he did anything pleasurable for me. Every night he gives me a nice hot bath, rubs my back and feet, helps with housework, pays attention to me, sits and talks about whatever I want, and is very eager to please me sexually. It’s wonderful…and I feel guilty! He wants his orgasm denied but I want to give him one lol. So, I do my best to keep him locked up, or take him out of the cage for teasing, but mostly what happens is the teasing turns into an orgasm and we are back at square one. I just can’t seem to help myself and feel bad about it. We have only made 10 days without an orgasm. We set a new goal of 15 days so I’m really trying my best to stick to it this time! You see, I love sex with my husband and yes he does please me orally and we use toys, but I crave the intimacy of intercourse with him, which is why I struggle! It’s about retraining my mind…to remind myself that pleasing him means denying him. It’s so opposite to what I’ve done in the past. I hope with time I become better at this. In the meantime, can anyone give me some ideas for things to do to keep him on edge without taking his cage off? When the cage is off we play a lot but when it’s on, what do others do to their subs? I should mention also that he has a bad habit of attempting to “top from the bottom” and gets punished for this…usually with a crop;-) so if there are any pointers on how to deal with this behaviour that would be wonderful! Thanks for reading and for any advice given!