Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

well after three attempts to embrace chastity with my wife, I learned a few things. first time around i expected her to be a gentle keyholder like this: 1 she would unlock it whenever i asked (since i assumed she’d understand that i need some time to adjust) but in reality…she always says no no no…no…damn… 2 caring for me, dirty-talking to me, teasing me—reality check: after locking me up she goes about her business and forgets I’m locked… 3 when we talked about taking a day off (meaning not being chaste for one day)…she got angry and ignored me for the whole day… 4 some erotic things like her ordering me to lick her, milking me, taking photos with us, dressing me up (if i’m feminized), hugging me, inspecting her property…reality for me: none of that. if you want to cum, go ahead and jerk yourself, after which she’ll lock me back up again (can you imagine? after we finish jerking off, I really don’t feel like being locked in, but she insists i have to be, which is tough), inspecting her property just goes “is my dick okay?…“i guess so”..“ok”(not even checking or looking closely) did any of you go through this?or am i the only one?