Since this topic spans both Chastity and Denial, as well as Female Led Relationships, I wasn’t certain where it belonged. Instead, I decided to start a journal to track my journey.
A bit of background. What I have always craved most from my own WLM is the feeling that my wife genuinely wants to encourage my submission and takes control because she enjoys seeing how it affects me. For this to work, I strongly believe I must give her what she wants, which isn’t always what I think she desires. Only then can she consider giving me some of what I want. Experience has taught me that even if you feel she likes being in charge—having you at her “beck and call” with chores handled—it doesn’t mean it’s true all the time. You shouldn’t expect her to become a constant dominatrix wife, always pushing your submissive buttons. Life isn’t quite like that; it’s more of a balancing act.
For my wife, what matters is my love, affection, and true devotion—her wanting me attentive and listening to her words. While she has tolerated me wearing a chastity belt in the past with minimal effort on her part, she seemed to struggle more with tease and denial, particularly the denial aspect. The more I ask for things (suggestedly and mostly non-verbally), the more she tends to ignore my desires and even me.
To put this into perspective, I have spent the last 10 years trying to shape our relationship so that she is comfortable in a dominant role while I submit in all ways. It has only been in recent months that she seems finally to accept that keeping me locked occasionally, teasing and arousing me without always allowing orgasm, is something she now encourages happily. And not just because it turns me on, but because it keeps me attentive and devoted to her constantly. The cost I “pay” is remaining consistently obedient to her needs and wishes, following and responding to her orders when given, and making sure she feels that my submission stems from my desire to please her and be turned on by her feminine sexuality.
All of this exists within what outsiders might see as a fairly vanilla relationship, but one done in a way that makes my wife comfortable. Importantly, I let her initiate sexual activity between us when she wants it, rather than me pestering her.
In recent months, I was on the verge of giving up and accepting that my wife simply doesn’t want to see me submissive or locked in a chastity device at her “beck and call”. There were times I felt like “throwing my toys out of the pram”, deeply frustrated by my overwhelming need for control and submission to my wife’s feminine nature. But experience taught me that acting out would be wrong. It might have pushed her further away, or if it did produce positive moves from her, they seemed done only because I wanted them.
Surprisingly, at the eleventh hour when all hope seemed lost, my wife has taken some very encouraging steps toward granting my long-held wish for her to take control in our relationship. More importantly, she seems to be enjoying and more willing to use her feminine power to keep me teased and aroused while denying regular orgasms.
Following an early morning oral orgasm that I gave her, she had me kneel naked at the side of her bed. Now sitting on the edge and looking down at me, I handed her back the panties she had discarded earlier. Instead of putting them on herself, she arranged them to place over my face and head, ensuring the gusset pressed against my nose and touched my lips. She then began teasing and playing with my nipples, something she knows drives deep into sub space and makes me willing to agree with whatever she says. I often describe this state as being held “under her spell”, and so it was that in this state, she laid down some of the “rules” for which I must agree and what she expected from me. The list was quite long and included several references to feminine aspects of her—her shoes, nylon-covered legs, painted fingernails, underwear—all things she knew would push my submissive buttons hard.
While listening intently and hanging on her every word, eager to accept and unable to resist even if I wanted to, she continued playing with and caressing my increasingly sensitive nipples. Despite my mind racing and being in a bit of a blur at the time, here are just a few things I recall: From now on, my wife told me that she wants me locked in my device during her workdays so I am reminded that she is in control and should remain obedient to follow instructions at all times. She scolded me for several recent mistakes or forgotten tasks where I hadn’t followed her orders precisely. She informed me that I was being denied orgasms until after Christmas, provided I “maintain standards” (household chores) and stay obedient and attentive to her needs.
When she finally finished speaking, I was released from her “grip”, but remained firmly “under her spell”, aroused beyond belief and willing to believe everything she had said. In this situation, submission brings feelings of joy and elation along with a deep sense of love and affection toward my wife for making me feel so.
So it was on Monday morning that after my wife left for work, I locked myself back into chastity, content knowing she had asked me to do so. She also reminded me that I must keep the washing and ironing up to date and ensure the laundry room stays clear at all times.
Thanking her via text for such a wonderful weekend, she replied: “You are under my full control and must obey me and carry out all requests.”
By Wednesday night, I found myself once again kneeling naked beside my wife’s bed, pleasuring her orally. Unusually, this came just days after the last time. Normally, my wife is content with longer gaps between her orgasms, so I was pleasantly surprised to find myself locked and giving her a second orgasm in only 4 days. Even more surprising was that she told me I would remain locked until Saturday evening, right before we go out to a party. I had expected her to want me unlocked Thursday evening when she finished work for the week.
It seems my wife is now happier keeping me locked longer than she originally intended.
Is this really happening? It feels like we are moving forward again and I can’t wait to spend increasing amounts of time locked, attentive and devoted to my wife, obedient and subservient as much as she wants.