Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

Hello everyone, I have been lurking around for a while before i decided to register. Currently I am happy in a relationship with my girlfriend for over 3 years. We have been doing some BDSM over the whole time, me being dom and her being sub. However, there are times in my life, when I really like to be the sub, when my job comes down hard on me for example. During these times I like being restrained, wearing chastity cages (we have some chinese ones, and recently ordered a CS-500), wearing butt plugs and sometimes i even fantasize about her making me wear her panties and what not. While this is not completely new to me (started in my teen years) it’s still coming in phases on and off again. The problem with that is, that my girlfriend is absolutely not dominant by nature. We tried - often, slow, etc - but its just not her thing. Restraining sometimes is okay, but everything more makes her feel uncomfortable. She is working very hard and her job is control-heavy, which is also a reason why she doesnt like to be in control during sex. In the end, either she gets pushed to do something she is not completely comfortable with, or i am sexually not comfortable. Has anyone experienced something alike or has any solution to our dilemma? p.s. i am currently building a smart key-box that can be used to lock keys away and will not open before the timer is up. A smartphone app can be used to “add time” with a simple button. When the hardware quirks are fixed, i will put some pictures and description on this site. I would probably try to hand her the app and play mostly alone, if i should ever “nag” her then, she can just extend and hopefully this will work for both of us. If i did too much topping from the bottom in the past, this could help me staying in the role. Many thanks in advance for reading this “wall of text”