After years of experimental chastity play, two factors most often cause our experiments to end abruptly.
- The Keyholder grows weary of the daily duty or feels the status imbalance too sharply.
- I begin feeling abandoned (mostly my issue to resolve). This usually happens after she enjoys abundant fun sex for 3-5 days and loses interest in the “chastity game”. This note focuses on #1, and how I seem to have stumbled upon an idea that is working, at least temporarily. It’s only day 5 of a very enjoyable lockup, but it just got extended by a couple of days. For me personally, setting specific goals like “30 days” often backfires. We’ve experimented with so many interesting aspects of chastity play; they are always super hot and fun for at least a few days, sometimes even weeks. I am the kinkier one, while she is an adventurous person who stays busy. She tries most things and makes them work in whatever spontaneous way feels authentic or interesting to her. Our typical game lasts 1-4 days: she enjoys great sex, I sink deeper into my submissive chastity state thinking it’s a wonderful adventure. Then it ends suddenly when she removes the device for sex herself and has little desire to have it reinstalled, or simply because she is tired of managing it (thinking about it, wondering when she wants to unlock me, considering how to tease/motivate me while I’m locked). A month ago, we had a really hot week. It ended abruptly while I was thinking it would be amazing to stay this way for a whole month! She commented that she can start feeling lonely. She misses our equal relationship and wants her partner back. This was the first time she voiced this clearly, which I found very interesting and compelling. She often mentions feeling the keyholder role as an extra responsibility requiring a certain mood to handle well. I’ve tried many ideas to reduce stress, but that loneliness—wow, it sounds real. This innovation: What feels different now is a. I try to be her equal partner I act 95% like my normal self in our partnership; we both know I’m chaste, and she hints at a few things she’d like done. Sex is certainly very different when I am locked up. But I have many ways of pleasing her. Years ago, I came up with the idea that one goal of mine in chastity is “To strive to make our normally great sex even better while I’m chaste.” This has gone pretty well. b. The key stays out of reach for 2 days at a time, and she doesn’t have to think about or manage it unless she wants to extend it (which she did today). Instead of the fun game where I beg for release and she stands firm saying “no way, I like this better,” I locked myself up and set the key on a timer release system for a couple days. During sex earlier, she asked when the key would be available; I said not until tomorrow. She replied good, and we had great sex. She didn’t ask me to relock or stay out once the key became available; she left that decision to me. Last night, while having fun sex, she asked again when the key was available. I told her Noon tomorrow and 4 PM two days after that for one minute each. She said good, so all she has to do is distract me for those 2 minutes, then keep me as I am. I didn’t even respond. Today, she indeed started making out with me, telling me I wasn’t going to the garage to get the key box; it was very sensuous. After about five minutes of kissing in the kitchen, she mentioned a few things about the weekend and went off to write. So now she doesn’t have to worry about when will/would/should I come out. Often she would unlock me for sex but lose interest in the game once satisfied. Details: How do we secure the key?
There are various apps for phones. I use a photo time lock with my phone and a Master Key Box. It took a few tries last year to learn a good process for photographing the combo code and locking the key away for a preset duration. This method opens the combination automatically when the time arrives. The key box we have, which stays open for 1 minute every 2 days, was a homemade project. Very sturdy wooden construction with a 7-day appliance timer and an electronic “Strike” that activates (like an automatic door opened by pushing a button). The inside is large enough to hold a Master Key Safe, allowing even more complexity. Anyway, she was kissing me while the minute passed today, so I didn’t go to the garage; now it’s another couple of days until the next minute opens, and she asked for the schedule.