Introductions discussion

Hello everyone, I’m making my official debut here. My husband/sub is already a member of this site, but he mostly just watches from the sidelines and buys gadgets (he doesn’t even wear them). When it comes to being a Domme, I’ve reached my limit, so I’m turning to an active forum for guidance. We’ve been experimenting with this lifestyle for more than a year now, and it’s felt like a continuous struggle for power. He wanted this dynamic; he was the one who introduced me to it. Yet, he refuses to obey properly, and when he does, there’s always that attitude attached. There is constantly something perceived as “wrong” or uncomfortable about his device—he has gone through three Jailbirds already, with the latest being sent back for adjustment. As a result, he isn’t truly in chastity most of the time. He also tends to have what I call “accidental” releases. I’m told not to punish him for these because he insists they are essentially ruined orgasms. Furthermore, apparently, I don’t show enough respect for him. When I give an order and he voices his reluctance (usually regarding non-sexual matters), but I insist anyway, it’s seen as me ignoring his feelings. Whenever I express my frustrations to him, we end up fighting. Basically, I have a sub who does whatever he pleases; I am supposed to be the Domme, yet apparently lack dominance; and I am completely done with all of this. Hopefully, this site will offer some useful advice so I can finally start taking control.