Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

For me, the main three have been: #1. Greater selflessness. More attention to her emotional and sexual needs, plus a strong eagerness to meet them at nearly any cost. #2. Acceptance. For instance, feeling like something is missing when I am unlocked. Over time, I noticed the device less as it became my default state and I grew more comfortable with it; now I only notice it when it's *not* on (like during a shower). It’s similar to wearing a hat all day, taking it off, but still feeling like you're wearing one at times. I have long accepted this is my new normal. Also, my view of orgasms has shifted. I’ve come to accept that they were never truly mine alone; in fact, they belong to her, and I don’t need them to feel satisfied or useful. Or as she puts it, "Your cum always belongs in your balls." #3. Radical shifts in my sexual cravings. When I look at my KH now, I don't think about putting my dick inside her. Instead, I fantasize about licking her, using toys on her, loving her with a strapon, or taking the strapon myself (if I'm lucky). My lustful thoughts regarding women other than my KH have decreased significantly, which brings incredible peace of mind. My entire concept of what sex *ought* to be has improved for the better. Sex is no longer just a phallus-centric sprint toward my finish line, but rather a marathon of exploring and loving her body in alignment with #1.

Great topic, locked_. I'm interested to see the various thoughts. Modus made a statement during a conversation with me about how we all come from different places and roads for different reasons, yet we are all trying to reach the same destination. I am currently at day 460. I am not involved in any intimate activity right now. It's not that I don't want to; it just isn't there. So I have no fulfillment. Accepting this situation was a mental challenge initially. That is when I searched and discovered chastity devices. It didn't take long for my mindset to begin accepting the situation, but more importantly, I found wearing a locked device to be a desirable feeling.

The rest of the story: ...find that I cannot live without it. After the initial year of locking, I decided I just couldn't go back. If my circumstances changed, I don't think I could return to "normal". Being locked in chastity is now normal for me. It has truly changed me, I believe, for the better. I have no desire ever to be unlocked. It feels so safe being locked up. Going out would make me go crazy. The feelings have become so constant and intensely enjoyable that I don't think anything can disturb them. You do have to want it, though. I wanted this badly. I just didn't know it would actually happen, but it did. Now, having gotten what I wanted, I am in a constant state of satisfaction from being locked, even though I self-lock. I don't have a KH or any of the usual keyholder dynamics; I'm simply living la vida locka. Lol. Peace, love, and lock.

Long-term effects? None really. You wear it, take it off, put it back on again, etc. Many people like to fantasize that there is some effect, both mental and physical, but it doesn't really work that way. You bring a state of mind to the device, not the other way around.

> locked_cuckold said: > I've done SOME research on this > Click to expand... Research? There have been studies on this? I'm going to be "that guy" again. Chastity is a relatively new kink; unlike bondage or impact play (for which you can find pretty substantial subcultures and actual research), writings on chastity and orgasm denial are mostly self-reported stories in forums like this. Worse, much of what you read is based on personal belief and opinion, usually colored by the associated kinks of the person writing it (almost always a man). A few years ago, if your "research" was focused on this particular forum, you'd think that long-term chastity was linked to cuckolding, feminization, and low self-esteem, with the effects driving a submissive man further into obedient submission. If your "research" led you to other forums, you might imagine chastity and long-term denial as intense edge play, mostly a BDSM practice, or even a fun pastime for otherwise vanilla couples. Please note that I'm not picking on you. Again, until recently, chastity play was the domain of people who could afford expensive belts. It's only been in the last 15 years or so that it became available to average people, and only within the last 5 years to any kinkster with $25 and access to cheap Chinese devices. Most advice out there is just wank fodder.

> Tom Allen said: > wank fodder. > Click to expand... I think I just found the name for my next rock band!

> Billus said: > Many people like to fantasize it has some effect, both mental and physical, but it doesn't really. You bring a state of mind to the device, not the other way round. > Click to expand... BTW, to actually answer your question, I'm with @Billus: I am regularly locked and denied for long periods. It has not made me calmer, more submissive, less horny, or less interested in attractive women. However, it has taught me to derive my own sexual satisfaction from bringing satisfaction to Mrs Edge. Sure, I had that to some degree in the past, but now I feel *actually* satisfied (and no longer frustrated) after knowing I've filled her desires.

I went a year without any sort of orgasm. I forgot what it felt like. It became more like a fantasy than reality.