Novices and newbies discussion

My wife Dom kh was not into any of this at all before and thought it was weird and also thought it was so much work all the time fast forward to some years later and when she opend up more and looking into more she now likes it all and has grown so much and has said I thought there was so much more that went into it all the time and there is not. Sure some days with lots of time ropes and chains and hours ties is awesome. But for all the times between that she has realized that it does not take much. Hopefully she will see this and help me out with this and comment on it when she is free later. Good luck and I hope she comes around for you. There is hope!!!!

> tecolote said: > Now I always think that all my keyholder really has to do is lock me up and drop a comment or two once a day and maybe grab the cage as a brief tease before bed. These things literally take no time beyond our normal interactions. > Click to expand... That might not sound like a lot, but if it doesn't come natural to her, then it IS a lot of work. It is basically a performance. Maybe it only lasts for a few minutes a day, but that can be stressful, especially if she feels like she'd let you down if she doesn't do it "right".

Put it on yourself and give her the key. When you do, ask her to touch it a time or two. Once in a while. Later, you can beg.

BK always said she does not want to be on the clock 24/7 and I understand that. But as they grow and becomes familiar with the Dynamics I think they have more fun and it is easier and less time consuming. But if it’s not natural to them it can take years.

When I brought up the chastity subject with my wife and now keyholder one of her reservations was the extra effort on her part to play the game and also her uncertainty about whether she was going about it right. After a few false starts and heeding the advice of many people on this forum, my wife and I have settled on a routine that works for us. I stay locked pretty much all of the time and also take care of cleaning etc by way of an ' emergency key' that I keep, and she teases me and says to release when ever she is in the mood (which is not often as she is going through the menopause). So her involvement is minimal but she says she is enjoying it and wants to continue. I'd like her to do more teasing, wear my key on public and generally get more involved, but the important advice from many on this site is to take it slow and let her develop at her own pace. This may mean parts of your fantasy itch won't get scratched, but to be successful you have to accept that is ok. So my advice is to ask her to hold your key and see how things develop. If you overwhelm her with how you want to be teased etc it risks reinforcing her concerns about it being a lot of work. It need not be unless you burden her with your expectations. Hope this helps.

> Barburia said: > Put it on yourself and give her the key. > Click to expand... You may be right On the one hand, I don't want to be pushy, but on the other hand, she may need a little push for momentum to take over ..