Introductions discussion

Hi there! I’m a newcomer. I’ve popped in before, but now I’m starting to experience real-life chastity! I’ve known deep down that I was submissive since my teenage years, yet I married a (very) vanilla wife who had zero interest in kink - she’s not unpleasant at all; quite the opposite. She just didn’t grasp it or want it for herself. So I mostly kept my desires to myself, dreaming about them through internet porn for ages. We divorced several years ago (for other reasons), and soon after I realized I could actually pursue some of these kinks in reality. I joined FL, attended local BDSM events, and started branching out to meet fellow enthusiasts. I even purchased a one-size-fits-all steel cage, specifically a Rikers, along with a few complementary toys. However, I quickly noticed that 1.) the majority of Doms locally are men, and 2.) among the smaller group of female Doms here, most prefer impact play. That’s fun enough, but it isn’t focused on chastity. There were two instances where other people (play partners) held my key, yet there were practical limits to how long they could keep hold of it. I also came to understand that while play partners and professional Doms (occasionally) are lovely for specific fetishes, I needed more than just occasional sessions. I wanted Femdom within a relationship framework. I am deeply intimate and affectionate by nature, but this doesn’t extend easily to people outside my inner circle. Therefore, it was really difficult for me to serve or worship someone if I didn’t feel close to them. Fast forward to about two years ago, when I met an incredible woman. Smart, beautiful, full of energy… She brings light into the room upon entering. She was also vanilla, BUT she had a adventurous spirit and had previously dated a man with a TV fetish, even pegging him at one point. So I decided to do what I rarely do: be as honest as possible about my kinks. I obviously waited until we were a few months in, but tried not to hold back much. She was receptive, although since she hadn’t been exposed to many aspects of kink, she didn’t fully understand it or know exactly how to handle things. So I decided (once again) to step out of my comfort zone and help guide her along. While telling the top what to do can take some fun away from the moment, I realized that simply expecting her to figure it all out on her own and getting annoyed when she didn’t wasn’t sustainable. By offering ideas and explaining why I liked certain things, I hoped she would start picking up cues and doing them independently (and she has). I waited until she made a mistake (I believe she fibbed about something minor), then assigned her a “chore” to make amends. I drafted a list of instructions that included having her lock me in for several days, tease me, and later come over for a “kinky weekend” to wrap everything up. I provided lists with ideas for teasing as well as activities she could have me perform during the visit. And it worked wonderfully! She texted on a Tuesday telling me to get locked up and wear panties to work for the rest of that week (I had to send photos). Then she assigned some homework: learning about Yoni massages. When she arrived for the weekend, she had me prepare a romantic dinner for us (wearing only my cage and panties), and later discovered how much she enjoyed giving Yoni massages that evening.;) She is still learning, and I am trying hard not to overwhelm her, allowing us both time to explore together at a pace that suits us. The biggest challenge for her is that she tends to please others, making it tough for her to say “no” and keep me locked/denied/frustrated. But we will continue working on it. As an elementary-school teacher, I know she has the capacity to discipline and use her authority when necessary, so I am encouraging her to direct some of that energy toward me. I have also been framing these arrangements as benefits for her - for instance, we disagree about how toilet paper should be unrolled (front or back), and I pointed out that this is just one of many ways she can “win” if she holds the key to my sexual life! We are currently in a long-distance relationship but plan to move in together soon. She has locked me up a couple more times since then - by the way, I’m getting quite good at Yoni massages myself. Earlier this week, I also ordered a Mature Metal cage. My Rikers fits perfectly and is very secure, but it is incredibly difficult to clean, so switching to metal will allow for longer locking periods. She has shown interest in attending some local BDSM and kink events before, so I am considering bringing that up again and seeing how things progress. Anyway, excited to have an account here; looking forward to getting to know everyone…