I’m hoping to revive this chastity setup and would appreciate some feedback. My thoughts might help others as well: Married for 17 years, together nearly 25 total. I am 56; she is 60. I have a bit of a deviant streak; she is more conventional. For about the last five years, I’ve persuaded her that it benefits us both if I perform oral sex on her and then release myself later (often I get too exhausted to finish, which makes her feel inadequate… perhaps because I am accustomed to masturbating around five times weekly). She usually sleeps or isn’t present when I do this. I’m uncomfortable having the act in front of her since I prefer visual aids; while she doesn’t mind me watching porn, I don’t think it would work well for us together. Plus, I’m quite a private individual by nature. I enjoy light humiliation (sph), and she has consistently accommodated this to the point where commenting on my size is now regular throughout the day, not just during servicing. She also agreed to let me record several of our sessions, which I’ve edited into audio clips that I play while masturbating. I noticed one major factor affecting how often I give her “head” was her self-consciousness about cleanliness; having to shower beforehand dampened things a bit. So I convinced her that I prefer her unclean because pheromones might be stronger (not sure if this is true) and it enhances my humiliation experience. Frequency has only gone up slightly, but it’s now routine for her to stay intentionally unwashed, willingly announcing, “I left it dirty for you since you don’t deserve a clean pussy.” Outside the bedroom, I’m the alpha in our relationship. This makes 24/7 roleplay tricky because neither of us wants me to give up that status. She has been wonderful at flipping the switch regarding sex and sexuality, which I really appreciate. However, getting her on board with chastity was a hard sell. Fortunately, I had leverage: she loves casinos (I do not).
Why am I confident full-time chastity will work for me? Because I genuinely enjoy surrendering control in the bedroom without losing it elsewhere. We tried it intermittently for a short while before the pandemic hit us both in February and stopped things cold. I want to restart this dynamic with the following plan: I’ll be locked 24/7, keeping a backup key sealed inside my wallet. I’m engraving “key in wallet” on the device itself so there’s no confusion if an emergency arises where I can’t communicate well. I propose she wear the primary key on a necklace, though I’m unsure if that will stick. Also, I won’t be allowed to touch or remove the main key myself. Exceptions for getting out include medical visits, family events, and under her direct supervision (like for hygiene). Here is one more exception: On my lockup day, I’ll mark our scheduled release date on a grease board in the kitchen—three days from now. On that day, she can either unlock me or “spin the wheel” (via an app) giving roughly a 60/40 chance of release. If she spins and it says “OUT,” I get out for 24 hours to handle business privately (she prefers not to be involved in that part). If it says “IN,” I stay locked another day. She earns casinobucks whenever she makes me perform oral, do chores naked, or leave my underwear dirty… you understand the concept. Additionally, there are two more wheels: a BAD wheel (spinable twice daily) adds days to my sentence if she feels slighted (plus extra casinobucks), and a GOOD wheel reduces my time with fewer chances for extra coins. Finally, well not quite finally since I’m detail-oriented and control-hungry—she receives a set amount of casino bucks weekly while this “game” continues, and I’ll take her to the casino whenever she wishes (a two-hour drive is manageable).
I know I’m leaning on her love for slot machines, but she seems okay with it as a win-win. She does say there are too many rules to track, which is true, but I’m trying to secure what I want without her exploiting loopholes and draining our checking account in a week. Happy to share more if interested. Mostly sharing to see if others who still masturbate have similar setups or suggestions.
This is only my second post here, so hoping for good responses. Wish me luck!