Is the draw to myself strong? - The pull I feel toward being dominated by women is even stronger than any sexual feelings I’ve experienced. There are many layers to this experience, and I want to try breaking them down for discussion.
[Solo: I should mention right off that I fantasize about all these things and practice them in private. I’m not quite ready to open up the people close to me yet about my little hobby. Perhaps posting here is a first step?]
The question I am trying to answer is why? Why are these feelings of submissiveness and female domination so powerful compared to other sexual sensations? Girls (sissies) really: is there anything else that compares to what we feel when being dominated? Compared to the feelings I have for other hobbies, passions, etc., my feelings for female domination stand out as much stronger. Sure, I love music, feel lust for someone, and get caught up rooting for my favorite sports team. These are primal feelings too. It’s just that I believe the intensity is not nearly as great as my private feelings of being dominated by females. If I were to describe what I feel when I secretly fantasize about femdom and all that goes with it, I use words like: crave, extreme urges, guilt, lust, rush, panic, anticipation, desire. My heart pounds, my head spins, I blush, I get raging erections. In short, I feel many of the same feelings that occur when I get a crush on someone. But, the intensity with femdom submissiveness is so much stronger and extreme! So what is going on here? Maybe it’s that there are a lot of really strong low-level emotions at work: blush - of putting on some soft feminine clothing; panic - of being caught (yes this is a huge secret hobby for me); guilt - that my behavior is somehow wrong (compared to societal norms); denial - creating that intense burning desire via edging; and anticipation - of the possible eventual fulfillment of an orgasm. I do love the female person inside who’s trying to get out! She has a strong will to exist in my life, and I love secretly watching her develop. As I delve further into this compelling world that I yearn for, one thing is for sure - I’m really enjoying the ride… Any thoughts?
