Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

Especially Ladies…So I am on day 4 of self lock / honor system…starting to feel “good”. My wife sort of knows but its not on her radar. She’s on her period. I’m trying to think of ways to be close to her and pamper her tonight, maybe signal to her that its been a while, but that its a good thing, make her question whether she WANTS me to orgasm, and without seeming “weird”. (as noted in other posts last time I was overwhelmed and over-did it) One problem is that lately we are transitioning directly to bed for TV after the kids go down, so she’s under the covers and not natural to offer a foot rub or back rub. Curious if anyone has a good thought or two on some ways I can pamper her without triggering a fear response like “holy cow what’s happening to my husband?” (she does know I am generally more submissive and into T&D, though we have not talked about it in a while) Thanks!!