Hello all. I stumbled upon this community a while back searching for “strapon sex” online. I can’t recall the specific thread, but naturally, I ended up exploring the rest of the forum and got quite interested—puzzled by some aspects, mildly turned on by others, and slightly freaked out by yet more. All in all, pretty standard.
Recently, I replied to a post within a discussion that wasn’t really about questions regarding Chastity. It was kindly suggested that rather than continuing there, I should start my own thread and ask again. The reasoning was: #1 I was hijacking an existing conversation (which I don’t want to do) and #2 it might yield more feedback.
I’ve read through many threads now and gathered some basic concepts of what this is all about (the big picture). It’s been noted that people vary; some follow most or few of these steps, while others pick and choose. However, I wonder if some individuals haven’t quite accepted their fate or have simply been told “this IS the plan,” so they are bracing for the next phase.
I’d love your input!
Chastity and denial (and perhaps Humiliation?) serve as tools to re-educate men into a new way of living. Some go further, adding physical punishment such as whips. *This is the S&M element that I didn’t quite “get” in my original post.
The early phases usually involve serious denial for extended periods, acting like boot camp, or… they are packed with kinks and sex to encourage the man to accept growing control.
In more advanced stages, denial increases until service becomes nearly total. The male plays a smaller role in typical decision-making areas: sexual activity, finances, etc. *It was noted that some couples don’t consider financial changes part of “the deal,” viewing only the sexual control elements as key.
Eventually, the man is broken and accepts his fate willingly (or not). Some embrace their new status with such enthusiasm that they dislike orgasm because it might temporarily lower their drive to serve their dominant female.
Regarding the woman’s role: I’m still trying to fully grasp this. Clearly, being King (or rather Queen) feels good, but having a neutered male as a lover can’t be ideal, no matter how well he performs oral sex? Or perhaps I just don’t get that part?
Another phase for some (many? all eventually???) is feminization of the male. This might be his wish (*or simply a method to humiliate him?), or an aspiration toward what he perceives as perfection—the Female state? Or does the woman dom want him placed in his proper station? Again, I’m unclear on the motives. Help?
Cuckolding seems like a logical next step when the woman seeks a non-chastised partner for bed to provide her with something she’s missing from her chastised (and possibly feminized) male. The fully devoted male is often happy to see this happen, assist in it, watch, and even clean up (Cream Pies). Some even participate alongside the bull to give their female dom a visual thrill while adding to his humiliation.
Of course, there are wide variations here. I’ve seen blogs from couples who never use Chastity or denial but remain very active in Cuckolding, which seems like an advanced stage. I’ve also read posts from people using Chastity for short-term control before enjoying wild sex together regularly.
What puzzles me is how many eventually follow the basic pattern. Is that the true goal of one or both partners? Or are all other variations just temporary stages or errors?
Is part of the thrill (for the male sub) wondering when the next step will occur? Just a couple more additional, probably even simpler comments. Are some male subs ashamed of their sexual needs entirely? Do they find it repugnant to have vanilla male/female intercourse, for instance? Is Chastity and surrendering control a relief? And is being unable to masturbate a positive thing? Is denial an advantage rather than a punishment? I ask because some posts seem to suggest subs are very aroused by losing games where they might earn an orgasm (for example), or joy when the Dom changes her mind at the last minute, ruining orgasms or insisting on more days of Chastity.
How much of this is mostly BDSM with a twist, and how much aligns more closely with what I suggested? Steps or stages in converting a husband/lover/male into a sexual servant/cuckold.
Anyway, please forgive me if my questions seem really dumb. I definitely don’t mean any insult to anyone. Thanks for taking the time to think about this!