I serve as a KH. I typically conclude my assignments with a writing exercise to refine my skills in this role. Here is the feedback I received from my husband last week. My question for you all: has anyone else tried something similar? What did you learn? Whether you are Kitchens, Chaste, or simply have an opinion on the matter—please share your thoughts.
Thank you x KH Throughout this assignment you must write verbatim, capturing every single detail… as if you are living it again!!!! Honesty is Key… without it, things could get worse, or they could get BETTER!!!
KH What was the worst point and why? Saturday 31st morning: I woke up to find an oedema on Bob. While I have always appreciated earning time out while keeping the back ring in place for easy relocking, I was quite disappointed to learn that leaving just the ring on could cause damage. Since then, I’ve reflected on why this happened and believe it stems from spending most of the night with a strong erection due to our intense tease-and-denial session beforehand. A prolonged erection can restrict blood supply if it lasts long enough. I don’t think this would have occurred had I been allowed to come before leaving the cage off overnight. My takeaway: if I am not permitted to climax, the cage should be re-secured immediately upon sleeping. Lesson learned!
What was the best point and why? I love every facet of this game. I’ve often mentioned that while tasks are nice for my enjoyment, the true highlight was you writing and setting the Part One task (and indeed, Part Two!). Knowing you were working on something related to our dynamic, thinking about us—especially with me unsure what’s coming next—is a mind-blowing experience in itself! Completing these tasks is incredibly rewarding. Because of their nature, they ultimately deepen both your understanding and mine. I’ve realized that I enjoy the task aspect much more than I initially expected.
What was the best sexual activity? – re-live it! I want every single activity and mind thought! It happened on Friday the 30th. You came down to the kitchen unexpectedly, unlocked me, and kissed Bob! My heart raced as you announced this was my reward for completing Part One. It skipped a beat when you added, “BUT it’s temporary!” I couldn’t wait to get to bed to see what you had planned next. Our cuddles combined with Bob’s temporary freedom to become rock-hard without restriction felt incredible. I was so aroused I thought I might explode right there and then. We began making love, and you mentioned, “I’m still a little dry.” This thrilled me further because it suggested I could go down on you. I was slightly apprehensive—Bob can sometimes lose his ‘enthusiasm’ when my focus shifts—but since the base ring remained in place, Bob stayed hard as ever. After a few minutes of pure bliss and anticipation, you called me upstairs. Quickly after, I (and Bob!) filled you completely; I felt deeply connected and close to you, just like we always are during intimacy. (I needed that so much!!!).
To my utter surprise, you randomly interrupted my dazed state and ordered me to stop! Then, without hesitation, you actually pushed Bob out. I desperately wanted/needed to come at that moment—I was very close too, mere seconds away! It is this absolute tease and massive frustration that ultimately makes this event my most frustrating yet best sexual activity during this lockup period. (Not to mention spending the night with your scent mixed into every breath!).
What was the least enjoyable sexual activity? – re-live it! I want every single activity and mind thought! The least enjoyable part wasn’t immediately relocking after my peak sexual moment above, but rather dealing with that heightened arousal while unlocked. I was so turned on and frustrated; without the lock in place, all I could think about was how to stop myself from manually taking control and coming. With “your heavenly smell” filling every breath, it actually crossed my mind that I might not ever need to touch! Although I refrained from climaxing, I couldn’t stop touching myself, arguing internally about whether to just let it happen. This new uncomfortable mindset completely wiped out the previous delicious, tantalizingly heightened state of tease and frustration. I felt somewhat robbed at the time, but since then, I’ve put that thought aside until now. As I always tell you (and myself!!!), “It is up to you, whilst you hold the key, how I am to feel sexually,” which itself provides endless teasing.
What could you do to make the lock-up more enjoyable? I’m not entirely sure—I find the whole experience so very enjoyable that it’s hard to imagine what else would improve it…. We always talk, and communication is our greatest gift, but I remain conflicted about discussing things while we are in play mode because I don’t want to override or pressure you. I still feel I should avoid making new suggestions (as I do not wish to “Top from the bottom”). These writing tasks allow us to recap and share what each other is thinking and feeling, which suits me perfectly. It’s set out in writing and deeply considered. Perhaps occasionally asking for timeout just to talk openly about the game, or any new ideas on both our parts? To be fair though, sometimes I don’t feel this inhibition and simply chat with you about anything and everything related to our dynamic. Maybe we need to discuss this more—specifically how you feel if I seem to take over when talking about it. I actually know your response will likely be…. “TALK!” Hehe. Perhaps I’m just worrying too much about the right time or place to bring it up… Mmmm, looking forward to hearing what you think here…
What could I do to make the lock-up more enjoyable? One of our greatest learning curves in this game is the journey itself—us navigating and learning together. I’ve learned that many past fantasies are just that: fantasy. I recall writing about most of them to you over time, and every lockup game adds new elements. There isn’t one specific thing you could do differently; it’s already beyond my imagination and expectations. Just keep doing what you’re doing—which alone keeps me seconds away from climaxing (Sometimes the intensity is so high that if pushed further, I feel like I might just go over!!). It is this balanced equilibrium—a constant state of tease and denial—that makes me feel more alive – 24/7!!!
What did I do well during lock-up? I believe you have really honed in on what drives me now. You seem to understand and read my needs for vocal or mental stimulation so well. Your nonchalant, matter-of-fact “no mercy” stance during gameplay is tantalizing (I can’t think of a better word!). Every time we play, this aspect seems to grow stronger, giving me the feeling that I am truly “Handing control over to you.” This is, of course, the whole point of the game for me! I’m also fairly certain now that you feel less pressure regarding sex and making love in general. I do hope so, as it’s another major pillar of our dynamic from my perspective. You should never feel pressured about anything concerning us; I hope you genuinely feel less stress during gameplay and enjoy having orgasms when the moment strikes!
What could I improve on to make lock-up more enjoyable? The only element that truly challenges me is feeling forgotten. Completing your tasks eliminates this feeling completely—we are both playing together, which keeps my sense of connection strong.
and talking about it dz. But I am also very aware that setting tasks is time consuming and you don’t always have the time. I suppose what I am saying is maybe thinking about longer timed tasks. I have seen, in the forum, a post specifically about this issue, to which a poster suggested a website called “Write for me”. I have looked at it briefly and think it could be an idea worth investigating. It involves you setting a task (writing!) that will take as much or as little time you want it to take – and it reports directly to you apparently. The original posted seemed to like the idea on the forum, and I “think” I do too… (I may regret this suggestion though!!!) dz Tell me about any other thoughts you’ve had that aren’t addressed through the questions above. I have had some other thoughts during this session (and previous sessions too!). I feel very excited about the prospect of you engaging with other KH’s on the forum (the community) sharing ideas and techniques. I’m not sure why, as you seem to have a very good idea of what makes me tick now but the idea of you logging on fills me with excitement, much like you setting tasks. I have just realised why whilst typing this, it is the “not knowing what’s coming next…”. A very exciting proposition when coupled with the 100% trust that we have between us. Another aspect that keeps springing to mind whilst under lock and key is bringing the plug into our gameplay. Maybe this is just a spinoff from fantasy and not practical in the real-world. I am really not sure if this idea is going to be a punishment, more teasing and therefore enjoyment, or anything else I haven’t thought of, but the idea keeps coming to my mind and I thought I should let you know! The only other thing is security. I know – if pushed very very (and it would have to be the brink!) of the edge, I could pull out. I have written about this before and it is still prevalent when playing the game for me. I think we need to experiment further with the material you brought (I can’t remember what it is called now!) and see if we can make it work better than we have tried in the past. I cannot think of anything better than having “NO Control”… That really is the whole point! I can’t think of anything else to add here – But I would like to take this opportunity to “THANKYOU SO VERY MUCH” for what you do, how you do it and how you make me feel. I know it is not easy for you, but you always seem to do it willingly and enthusiastically for me – and I cannot thank you enough for that. I really am the luckiest man on the planet to have you for my wife – dz I love you XXXXX **To complete this assignment, you have to ask me to “write about my experience”. Simple! There is a fail or pass element here, so be careful dz. Love you xxx You are nearly OUT!!!!!