Went over by accident on day nine. Does that reset it?

There is no standard because there is no governing body. What there is, is what the two of you agreed, and she has just told you. The reason it is bothering you is not the number, it is that you wanted the rule to have teeth and her answer took some of them out.

We reset, but only because the counting is the fun part for us. If the number was not the point I would not bother. Reset or not is a taste question, not a correctness question.

You reported it immediately when you could have said nothing. That is the whole system working. Anyone treating that as a failure has the system pointed the wrong way round.

That is a better way to look at it than the one I had, which was mostly that I had wasted nine days.

Worth asking her what she wants rather than deciding privately that her answer was too soft. Some holders do not reset because they do not want the arrangement to become a scoreboard you can lose at, which is a deliberate position and not leniency. She may have a reason she has not said.

Asked. She said exactly that, more or less. She does not want me dreading a session in case it costs me three weeks, because that would make me tense and tense is how it happened in the first place.