To start with a quick overview of our circumstances. My Wife and I have recently begun experimenting with chastity play, though our setup might be (or perhaps not) a bit unusual for this corner of the forums. She has an extremely low sex drive, while I am hypersexual; I used to masturbate several times daily, and during my years before marriage, there were very few stretches longer than two days without sexual activity. This is where we stand now, which makes things slightly confusing.
My Wife isn’t particularly keen on the chastity device because it ties back to her least favorite topic of conversation. After talking it through at length, we came to an understanding that she appreciates when I go out of my way to meet her desires and needs—giving her all my earnings, handling household chores, cooking dinner, etc.—but with a catch: these actions must not be framed within the context of Dominance/submission. She also mentioned that when I do these things, she worries it will turn into a guilt trip where sex is expected as payment, or that I am just going through the motions toward the end goal of intercourse. I hope chastity play can ease some of her concerns and help me become more attentive and compliant. However, I have a tendency to be somewhat immature and throw tantrums when things don’t go my way, and she is worried I might slip back into that behavior while locked up.
Could anyone offer advice or perspective for a Keyholder who cares more about the results than just locking me away? I would also appreciate tips on how to build her trust and manage setting aside my own needs to prioritize hers. The desire is there, but I get swollen in my cage when I take off her shoes, do her laundry, tidy up after her… Is this normal, or am I submitting with the wrong mindset? I mentioned punishment earlier; she feels it’s like raising a child. Does anyone have suggestions for quick and easy punishments that don’t require much effort? Also, any ideas on rewards? Release is off the table because this isn’t about roleplay control; it’s about her not wanting to deal with sex right now. She is also physically distant regarding affection, so cuddling or similar gestures aren’t realistic rewards since inconsistent physical closeness would likely breed resentment later.
Thank you in advance for any advice!