Getting started is the toughest part. After wandering around online for a while, I’ve settled here and plan to use this space as a journal for discussing all things Femdom, BDSM, and chastity that my often-confused mind needs to talk about. Even though I’ve been playing with self-denial and teasing for ages, there’s something special about speaking out loud (or in text) that makes the experience feel more real and impactful. Hopefully, readers will find it entertaining, intriguing, and worth their visit. This first entry focuses on finding ways to practice self-denial. There’s already plenty written on this subject, with many sites and tools available online. Some are fun, others clever, but none seem to quite grab me by the collar and declare “Hey! Your orgasm belongs to me now.” Perhaps that’s because they lack direct human connection. After all, it is the human touch—the interaction with another person—that truly drives us, even if that interaction is limited by internet boundaries. Anyway, I’ve been in self-imposed denial since late December 2010 and have been thinking about different methods to build timers or randomizers to decide when release is permitted. My guess is I’m not the only one enjoying this hobby on this site? smiles I thought as much. Here are some ideas I’ve come up with, though none feel quite right yet.
- Follow a long-term tease from a dedicated tease site. This can be nice because a human created it, and humans can be surprisingly, unpredictably devious—in a good way. However, it’s ultimately an off-the-shelf solution for a highly personal issue.
- I wrote a small Excel spreadsheet with hidden randomized dates inside, checking each day to see if the permission cell shows YES or NOT YET. Technically, this tool said I could have had release on Jan 16, but I wasn’t happy with my progress so passed it up. And yes, I’ve regretted that decision a few times since!
- Wondering if a lotto-based randomizer would be enjoyable. Here in Florida we have Fantasy5 (numbers 1–36), and there are plenty of ways to use it. For example, allow release once every number has appeared at least once. Or pick five numbers and see if those come up within a single week (it doesn’t happen often, but getting four out of five does build nice anticipation). You get the idea.
- While browsing online, I stumbled upon a group focused on school-type punishments, specifically writing lines. For some reason that grabbed my… errr … imagination. But the people assigning tasks were tossing out hundreds of lines at once, and my privacy and time constraints didn’t quite fit. At the time these felt like limitations, but what if the time constraint was replaced with permission for release after completing the lines, however long it took? Then my limited time and privacy become assets in the tease, yes? Permission is earned after 500 lines completed or some such number. It would create an interesting tension between the drudgery of writing and the anticipation of getting one step closer line by line.
- The above could be adapted easily to this forum (or any other) — release allowed after 100 posts (or 200, etc.). This is nice because it helps keep the community active.
- One blog had an elegantly simple idea: Release earned after a large number of edges—say 250. Since that can take time in a busy life, tension builds over many days. Too randy? Just take a day off—you are delaying what you ache for at the same time. Clever. (Note to self: find that blog again.)
So that’s what’s going on right now. Hopefully, some of these ideas can be enjoyed by others here. Be well.