Journals and blogs discussion

**November 16th **The ache. A delightful, sweet agony. But an agony it remains. I haven’t had my orgasm since last Friday. It is Tuesday now, and in these first few days of my Female-Led Relationship (FLR), my Mistress has been enjoying teasing me and keeping me on edge. She calls me to her desk at work—we are the only two there—and makes me stand with my back to the window while she rubs my cock through my trousers, getting me hard before sending me back to my seat. Just a moment ago, she called me on the office line (she is away most of the day and evening) and started verbally teasing and winding me up. She asked if I had remembered to lock myself into my cage this morning. I hadn’t. In the rush to get ready today—we overslept—I forgot in all the hustle: shaving, showering, getting dressed for work, letting the dogs out, feeding the cats, making tea for the builder who dropped by, and doing a quick tidy-up. I must admit I have been remiss about updating my profile on this site; how long has it been since I last came? My Mistress let me out on Sunday morning but has continued to deny me release. When we spoke just now, she said I don’t need to lock up tonight, seeing as I already forgot earlier. But I told her that if I don’t, when I get home from work this evening, it will be very hard not to play with myself… I feel that simply locking the door here at work right now and taking five minutes (two would suffice given how I am feeling!) to go to the loos for a quick release is challenge enough. At least here at work, I can tell myself I am obeying my Mistress; it seems very unprofessional to close up the office just so I can have a wank. But at home??! With the whole house to myself and hours before she gets back?… uh-huh… if I don’t lock up then I’m not sure I can stop myself. It feels ridiculous though… only four days (five, counting today) since my last release, yet I feel absurd. Trying to remember if I have ever gone longer without release. I must have been, right? Surely I’ve lasted longer than this before cumming? The difference is that IF I have waited longer in the past, I certainly didn’t have a fiancée; a Mistress rubbing me, teasing me and denying me! And worse still, she mentioned Thursday will mark one week without it… so I think she intends to make me go at least another couple of days! I want to please her though, and hope she shows some mercy and allows me some pleasure. I know talking about MY pleasure in an FLR where HER comfort matters seems like an oxymoron, but I am doing all I can to follow her wishes, do the work and chores she sets, and be obedient while resisting the urge to take power back into my own hands and allowing myself that orgasm I crave. I pray she shows compassion. Having said that, as a sucker for punishment, if I am not allowed to cum, I hope, pray and yearn for the chance to be under her wonderful bottom again, worshipping there, or even being allowed to bring her to climax. No doubt this would wind me up more (why wish it on myself without release?) but if I cannot have orgasm, at least let me have this!!! Arrggh- enough now. Going for coffee and trying to focus on something other than my cock!