Here is some context:
I have spent roughly a year in chastity. Aside from the times when my CB6000 device failed, I usually stay locked for about three weeks at a time before getting a release of some sort (either milking or a full orgasm). Beyond just being kept, Madam decided that her needs were best met if I took on the role of maid and housekeeper. Because of this, men’s clothing is forbidden to me at all times, and I must wear breast forms in my bra no matter what I’m doing. My primary daily attire consists of domestic uniforms, although Madam occasionally allows me to dress more femininely (in a girlish way).
It is worth noting that I do not pass as easily as someone who simply crossdresses. Understanding this—and believing we shouldn’t force the vanilla world to adapt to our lifestyle—I am allowed to wear androgynous women’s clothing (along with smaller breast forms) when outside. My wardrobe consists mostly of women’s jeans, shorts, and tops, plus necessary undergarments.
If anyone wants more detail on how this situation developed, please feel free to ask.
Now for the main topic…
When discussing the mental side of chastity, my experience begins with me becoming a much better servant. I am far more obedient and less prone to arguing or disagreeing with Madam. Since I am also feminized, I tend to adopt the demeanor of a very demure female persona. Madam is quick to correct any unfeminine behavior, and she rarely has to remind me twice about the same thing. The longer my lock-up periods become, the more this persona takes over. Over the past year, I have settled deeper into that traditional female role.
I get restless if I am not occupied with a household task. Madam often invites me to sit and watch TV or movies with her; doing so requires real effort of will on my part. Even though it feels like serving is what I should be doing rather than watching television (even if that service is just standing in the corner waiting to refill a drink or fetch a snack), I prefer sitting with her, as she does.
During my most recent unlock period, I had to spend six days entirely in male mode (we actually had to purchase clothes for me). Frankly, it felt incorrect; the clothing, the absence of the chastity device, not having breasts, and adopting an alpha male demeanor. It was somewhat uncomfortable overall. I believe this reflects the extent of mental change that has occurred.
These shifts in mindset and feminization also impact my sexuality. Being treated as a girl means there are no expectations for me to have a male orgasm. Consequently, my arousal is redirected toward what feels like a much more feminine approach. When teased by Madam while aroused, I crave penetration even though I know I cannot reach orgasm that way (though milking can occur through it). Instead of thinking about taking, I now think about being taken.
Madam once asked why I was so enthusiastic about wearing a strap-on over my chastity device on her; she wanted to know what benefit I got from it. My immediate thought was “How else do girls fuck?” though I explained it less crudely to her face. Giving her pleasure just feels right; my enjoyment is primarily psychological, although I often show physical signs.
I am lucky that I work from home and have established myself well in my profession, allowing me to handle a few hours of business duties daily without ever needing physically return to an alpha male role (and without affecting my housekeeper duties).
I am happier now than at any point in my life. Madam is coming to realize this truth: while I do it for her, I also do it for myself. She now believes that I am completely under her control, evidenced by her interest in having me pierced—a procedure I have little desire for personally. She knows I can voice an opinion but has few clear limits (which mostly concern revealing our lifestyle to my family).
Interestingly, this behavioral shift is directed primarily at Madam (and anyone she shares my story with). Outside of that dynamic, I am naturally a dominant personality and handle this duality without issue. The feminized housemaid in chastity belongs solely to Madam, and I see no contradiction in this. Living effectively 24/7 in that role over the last year—with occasional short breaks—has made it the best year of my life. I only expect our life together to improve further.
Mentally, I am not the same person I was eighteen months ago, and I believe I have improved because of it.