Journals and blogs discussion

Alright, I’ve been sent over to the vault since my introduction thread was falling apart and got too lengthy. I’m Steve; a 51-year-old husband married to April, who is 53—a classic cradle robber by any standard. This October marks our 25th anniversary together, and we’re hoping for many more years ahead. To give you the rundown on how we found this place: back in 2005, I was diagnosed with a rare form of thyroid cancer called Hurthle Cell Carcinoma. After undergoing two surgeries and two rounds of radioactive iodine treatment, doctors declared me healed by March 2006. However, over the next few months, symptoms began to resurface, and we hit a wall at our current hospital where they insisted those feelings were normal. We sought out a second opinion and ended up at USC Medical Center. I imagine you’re asking yourself what on earth this has got to do with tease, denial, and chastity play? The short version is that between 2005 and 2006, while I was being told my health was clear, my wife April began suffering from severe pain in her left hip. It turned out she had an unusual birth defect where the ball at the top of her femur sat too upright, placing nearly all her weight on just a small portion—about 15%—of her hip socket. This meant we were grounded from regular penetrative intercourse for about two months. For me, it was primarily out of concern for her and prioritizing her well-being over my own needs. Eventually, we reached our breaking point; to relieve some stress, I began helping her reach climax using sex toys, hands, and oral stimulation. In return, she gave me hand jobs. Following her hip replacement surgery, the news came that not only was I no longer cancer-free, but I also had around four tumors in my neck growing rapidly. By May 2007, they performed a third operation to remove those tumors along with several lymph nodes. Post-surgery, I was supposed to head straight into external beam radiation treatments, but because all my doctors went on vacation and the referrals didn’t reach my insurance company in time, I discovered two additional masses in my neck. Once everyone returned, we decided it would be best to have another surgery before starting radiation. The surgeon disagreed, preferring us to do the radiation first. So that’s what we did—35 treatments total—but unfortunately, they had little effect on the tumors! We went back for a fourth operation where two more tumors and numerous lymph nodes were removed. The surgeon wanted to remove one other suspicious lump but dismissed it since it was located in the upper chest area. I suspect you’re still wondering how all this medical drama connects to T, D, and chastity. Well, after going through all that (and there’s even more coming!), combined with the medications I’m taking, I’ve found myself unable to climax during normal sex. So April and I continue exchanging orgasms via hands or toys. As time passed, she refined her techniques and loved bringing me right to the edge repeatedly. That’s when I started exploring tease & denial (T&D) and stumbled upon the practice of chastity play. I was quite intrigued by it all. Given my performance issues due to health reasons, I was content giving her the orgasms she wanted while letting mine build up. I was happy with fewer but better quality climaxes if that’s what it took. The more I read about the chastity lifestyle, the more I liked it. Just so you know, we aren’t aiming for 24/7 wear; I don’t want to risk injury commuting to work and ending up in an ER with everyone staring at my groin! Then someone might use bolt cutters to snip off $200 worth of Johnson. Or worse, getting caught during one of many doctor visits could make riding my dirt bike a bit awkward. Remember I mentioned there’s more medical news ahead? It seems they found some nodules in my lungs on the November 2007 CT scan. Another CT last June 2008 revealed new nodules appearing. Having lung nodules doesn’t necessarily mean something terrible is happening; it becomes a concern when they grow larger or multiply, raising the cancer red flag again. So between that June CT scan and about two weeks ago, I sat down with April and told her I wanted to explore chastity play together. It took some courage to ask—almost as much nerves as when I proposed marriage! And luckily for me, she said yes twice. Am I lucky or what? Soon after, we ordered a CB3000 cage. I did my research and found this model the most appealing. While waiting (impatiently, might I add), I looked up helpful tips and took notes. During this search, I stumbled across this forum and joined that very day. Thanks for hosting us! We tried it out on the first Friday night after delivery. The advice I followed was to use the largest ring possible, the shortest spacers, and apply oil-based lube to the head and upper shaft. No issues noted at all. I slept in it that night and found nighttime erections/pain weren’t a problem whatsoever. It felt like a firm grip on my cock (or perhaps hers now?), and I could roll over easily and fall back asleep quickly. When we woke up Saturday morning, I gave April a nice back rub, paid lots of attention to her nipples, and helped her climax using one of her glass dildos. In return, she attended to other sensitive areas besides my cock. And I loved it—I was leaking pre-cum like crazy! Tonight when I get home from work after visiting USC for a lung function test, April is going to put the CB3000 back on me so we can play; she’ll get her orgasm and I’ll leak profusely again. Today I cleaned the kitchen floor and plan to regrout it, seal it, and clear it before next weekend. We’re also road-tripping up the coast so she can see the giant redwood trees. I guess the bottom line regarding how we got here is that life indeed can be short and sometimes feels unfair. So if you want to try something, just do it. Don’t leave this world with a pile of regrets about things you never attempted. If your partner seems hesitant, don’t make too big a deal out of it. I think what worked for us—and why we’re doing this now, especially since she wears the key around her neck—is that I didn’t push, complain, or bitch. I sent her websites explaining the logic behind it and why it appealed to me. I also sat down with her personally and explained why I wanted to do this—but only with her! Take care all. Steve