Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

I am happy to say that after years of repression I am now in a long-term relationship with my girlfriend, who prefers I call her “Master,” who is completely supportive of my submissive tendencies, need for humiliation, and wearing lingerie. Moreover, she has embraced the role of dominating me. She is very much into spanking me, with either a wooden spoon or the riding crop we bought together (pushing my limits and my low pain tolerance). She is also denying my orgasms and humiliating me. However, every time she tries to enforce chastity on me, after 2-3 weeks I am begging her incessantly for release and she relents and allows me to finish. This has happened multiple times. And so I have been a bad sub, so Master has asked that I share the story with you all. Just this past week, we went on vacation to a beach destination with her friends. For the trip, as punishment for begging out of chastity a previous time, she commanded me to shave my entire body from the head down (she did allow me to keep my arm hair for appearances at work). She also promised to keep me locked for the entire trip (we use a CB6000s with the plastic numbered locks for her to track). I was going to be flying alone. She commanded me to board the flight wearing a pink thong under my clothes and a buttplug. She also instructed me to bring her dildo in my carry-on bag (since I would be locked she would need it for me to satisfy her). I was terrified of going through TSA that way and asked for mercy, and because I talked back she added a humiliation: I had to leave behind my laptop bag and pack my things in her large pink tote. The looks I got in the airport with the hot pink bag had me straining in my cage. And I was in constant fear that the TSA would ask me to open my bag for the dildo or frisk me and feel the cage and see my hot pink thong. But I made it through. Once we were there, we had a good time at the beach. But of course I had to wear a bathing suit and go shirtless, and one of her female friends stared at my legs. I almost died. For as long as I can remember, these have been fantasies, but now the reality is much scarier. I satisfied her multiple times over the weekend, but at the end once again I begged and begged and begged and she eventually let me out and let me orgasm (twice). Bad sub. And so right now, I failed “locktober,” but am now in “No Nut November.” I am also “on punishment” which means I have to maintain my smooth shaved body, sleep in a butt plug, sleep in lingerie of my choosing, and keep my cage on (with the exception of working out at the gym). She has mercifully allowed me to prostate milk periodically (I have been practicing), but last night I also used her new dildo to do it without permission. And when she punished me for that by putting on nipple clamps, I could not do it and had to tap out in weakness. For additional punishment, she has booked a massage for us and is commanding me to go shaved and in panties of my choosing. And so, all in all, she isn’t sure I have what it takes to be the denial sub I say I want to be. And so she made a new rule: from now on, whenever I ask to orgasm, she is going to end our encounter right then and there. I am also posting here at her request to confess what a bad sub I have been because of the above transgressions. We welcome any and all feedback.